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Realistic One Piece

Xilinoc May 24, 2015 User blog:Xilinoc

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I'm not usually one to make blogs about non-review things, but something occurred to me earlier today: what if the events and characters in One Piece were portrayed super-realistically, as if they were in series like Berserk or Gantz? I don't mean to criticize the series for taking its many breaks from reality because 1. it's a Shonen fiction series and 2. that's part of why we all love it, but the way Oda does things would have some dire consequences in real life. Here are the examples that came to my mind:

Luffy:

  • The sheer amount of damage (impalement, muscle cracking, Haki-imbued attacks) and loss of lifespan he suffers over the course of the series begin to break down his body; as time goes on, it becomes harder for him to move, and eventually he is completely bedridden

Zoro:

  • Dies from losing more blood than his body ever held
  • Like Luffy, his body begins breaking down because of the truly ludicrous amount of damage it takes
  • Losing one eye during his training with Mihawk severely impairs his depth perception: his attacks frequently don't reach targets directly in front of him because he can't tell how far away they are

Nami:

  • Her impossible hourglass figure leads to her not having enough support for her massive bust and upper frame: eventually, her spine snaps and she can no longer stand up, being reduced to sitting in a wheelchair and growing fat
  • Her copious drinking causes extreme liver failure

Sanji:

  • Dies of aroused blood loss
  • Frequent use of Diable Jambe permanently damages his legs, forcing him to walk around on crutches

Robin:

  • Like Nami, her midsection can't support the weight of her upper torso and so snaps under pressure

Franky:

  • Runs on a non-cola fuel source that damages his internal organs from use

Brook:

  • No afro

Whitebeard:

  • Dies to Squard's chest stab
  • Dies to Akainu's head melt

Pell:

  • Deader than dead

Borsalino:

  • Anyone he kicks at the speed of light is killed to death, no exceptions
  • Laser beams aren't nukes
  • Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

Anyone close to Akainu:

  • Melts

Buggy:

  • Separating his body parts causes extreme blood loss

Doflamingo:

  • Dead beyond belief from having his organs melted and getting rekt by Gear Fourth HOW ARE YOU STILL WALKING DAMMIT

Depressing, isn't it? Good thing everyone's made of iron or steel, otherwise this series wouldn't be anywhere near as fun to read. If you've got any other examples of One Piece with extreme realism, post them below.

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