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The Straw Hats buy a Computer

Uknownada October 19, 2012 User blog:Uknownada

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(this is just a fun little parody blog)


(on the Thousand Sunny)

Nami: "Okay everyone, I just bought ourselves this computer. This can help us find some info about the world if we ever need it. Remember guys, no illegal stuff."

Luffy: "How does this box make these pictures?"

Nami: "It's not a box, it's a computer. It's some long, weird programming thing that makes them, though."

Luffy: "Ah, a mystery box!"

Franky: "Maybe I can open this up and find its secrets."

Nami: "YOU ARE NOT DESTROYING THIS COMPUTER!"

Chopper: "Maybe I can find some ingredients for medicine in here."

Brook: "You could find some skin oiment. I've been getting a little pale. Oh wait, I'm a skeleton. Yoho~"

Nami: "Guys, it's going to take the computer a while to connect to the internet. It might connect tonight. Let's just leave it alone for now."

Luffy: "But I want to play with the mystery box now!"

Sanji: "Nami-san says to wait! Do not dishoner a woman!"

Zoro: "Sucks they don't return the favor, does it blondie?"

Sanji: "Spinach head!"

Zoro: "Eyebrow!"

Nami: "ENOUGH! Leave the computer alone, and we'll tanker with it tomorrow, okay?"

(they all leave the room)


(that night, when everyone's asleep, Luffy sneaks into the computer room)

Luffy: "Okay, mystery box, let's see what you can do. Gum-Gum..." (he sees a button)

"Hey, what's this?" *presses*

(Windows XP startup music plays at full volume)

"WAHHH! THE MYSTERY BOX IS ALIVE!" (he runs off back to bed)

(Zoro enters the room after Luffy leaves)

Zoro: "Ehhh? *yawns* What's all that noise? Hmm? Oh, the computer thing is on...I wonder what it does."

(he opens up the internet)

"Hmm...so you can search anything with this? I wonder..." (he types "Roronoa Zoro" into the URL bar)

"Tch. Doesn't lead anywhere. Useless piece of crap. I wonder how I can find anything on this." (goes to Google and types "anything")

"Ehh? Wikipedia? Hey, maybe I can use this to see if they have anything on me."

(after browsing Wikipedia for five minutes looking for himself...)

"...This piece of shit doesn't tell me anything. Who the hell is Alexandre Dumas? This thing has no navigational sense. I'm out of here."

(he climbs out the window) "WHERE THE HELL DID OUR DOOR GO?!"

(not long later, Sanji enters)

Sanji: "I'm sure Nami-san won't mind if I take a peek on this device. It might harm her." (he sees the current page)

"Well, this must be the starting screen. I wonder what I can search for..." (he searches and eventually ends up learn about Google)

"According to that article, I can search anything on here. I wonder what this will lead to..." (he searches "beautiful women")

"*slight nosebleed* ...This computer has great pictures of women..." (curious, he searches more. He finds an erotic site and...)

"THE WOMEN! AHHH!" (spraying nosebleeds everywhere, faints)

(Brook sneaks in)

Brook: "I'm curious what this device can do-THOSE WOMEN ON THE SCREEN! YOHO!" (he nosebleeds and faints as well)

(Usopp and Chopper, half-awake, come in)

Chopper: "What's all that noi-SANJI! BROOK! What happened?! Doctor! Is there a doctor?!"

Usopp: "You're the doctor!"

Chopper: "Oh yeah! What's that on the screen?"

Usopp: *sees* "EEE! *covers* Nothing you need to be seeing, now fix them!"

Robin: "It's only pornography."

Usopp: "Where the hell did you come from, and why are you so calm?!"

(Luffy and Franky rush in)

Luffy: "You see?! That box is haunted! It even got Sanji and Brook!"

Franky: *teary-eye* "OH, HOW TRAGIC! I won't let this demon get anyone else! Weapons Left!"

Luffy: "We need to make sure this thing never returns! Gear Third!"


(that morning...)

Nami: "Okay, I should have known better than to expect none of you would sneak into it...BUT DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO DESTROY THE ENTIRE ROOM?!"

Luffy: *puckered lips to the right* "I didn't do anything..."

Chopper: "It was horror down there! Sanji and Brook are still fainted!"

Usopp: "The stuff they looked up was a *cough*...you-know-what."

Robin: "It was pornography."

Usopp: "WOULD YOU STOP BEING SO BLUNT?!"

Nami: "Where's Zoro anyway? I hope he never tampered with it."

(meanwhile, in Docking Bay 4)

Zoro: "Tch. Franky built a poorly designed ship. Can't even get anywhere."

END


I hope you enjoyed this poorly written, unfunny blog I wrote at 1 in the morning.

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