One Piece Encyclopedia


How Sengoku Stole Christmas

Uknownada December 28, 2013 User blog:Uknownada

Every Marine down in Marineford liked Christmas a lot...

But Sengoku, who lived just north of Marineford, did NOT!

Sengoku hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!

Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be that his hat wasn't put on just right.

It could be, perhaps, that his fro was packed tight.

But I think the most likely reason of all...

May have been that his Buddha body was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his body or his fro,

He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Marine's show.

Staring down from his base with a sour, admiral frown

At the warm lighted windows below like they're clowns.

For he knew every Marine down in Marineford's land

Was busy now, setting up Ace's execution stand.

"And they're sharpening their swords!" he snarled with a sneer.

"Tomorrow is's practically here!"

Then he growled, with his fat fingers nervously twitching.

"I MUST find a way to stop Christmas!" he was bitching.

For, tomorrow, he knew...All the Marine men and women,

Would wake up bright and early; like a bloodthirsty demon!

And then! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!

That's one the he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the Marines, new and veteran, would sit down to a feast.

Of Oars Jr., they'd feast!


They would start Namur-pudding, and rare Stefan-roast-beast

Which was something Sengoku couldn't stand in the least!

And THEN they'd do something he liked lesser than the others!

Every Marine down in Marineford, and their sisters and brothers,

would stand close together, with the Ox Bell ringing.

They'd stand with the Warlords. They would all start killing!

They'd kill! And they'd kill!

In the war, they'd KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL!

And the more Sengoku thought of the Marine's vicious kills,

"I must stop this whole thing!" he spiels.

"For twenty-two years I've waited it to be gone.

How did the others not stop it?...How, KONG?"

Then Sengoku got an idea. An awful idea. SENGOKU GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" Sengoku laughed with a gnash.

And he made a quick Edward Newgate stache.

And he chuckled, and clucked, "They were wrong to be feared!

With this coat, and this stache, I'll look just like Whitebeard!"

"All I need is a crew..." Sengoku looked around.

But since pirates were scare, there was none to be found.

Did that stop Sengoku? No! Sengoku simply said:

"If I can't find a crewmate, I'll make one instead!"

So he called his pet goat, and he took some orange thread.

He tied a big hat on the top of his head.

THEN he loaded some bags, and emptied a coat,

On a large ship, he hitched up the goat.

Then Sengoku said, "Giddyap!" and the ship started down

Toward the bases where the Marines lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. Kuzan's snow filled the air.

All the Marines were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.

When he came to the first camp in the square.

"This is stop number one," The old Fakebeard hissed

And he climbed to the roof with empty bags. Get the gist?

Then he slid down the chimney; A rather tight pinch.

But if Newgate could do it, he can in a cinch!

He got stuck only once, until he turned gold.

He used his Devil Fruit effectively; so bold!

There, he took the Navy stockings, all hung in a row.

"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

Then he stomped and stank, with a smell most unpleasant,

Around the whole room, and he took every present!

Shotguns and swords! Pistols and machetes!

When they wake up for Christmas, none of them will be ready!

And stuffed them in bags. Then Sengoku, very nimbly,

Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Marine feast!

He took the Namur-pudding! He took the Jinbe-beast!

He cleared out that fridge; it's as clean as a Kleenex.

Why, Sengoku even took the can of Marco Phoenix.

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.

"And NOW!" grinned Sengoku, "I will stuff up the tree!"

And Sengoku grabbed the tree, continuing his plan.

When he heard a small sound: The steps of a man.

He turned around fast, curious of who.

Monkey D. Garp, staring at Sengoku.

Sengoku had been caught by the little vice-admiral.

Who'd got out of bed, hungry for some mackerel.

He stared at him and said, "...Fleet Admiral, what the hell are you doing with our tree?"

But, you know, that old Sengoku was so smart and so slick

He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

"Why, my kind Navy man!" the fake Whitebeard lied,

"There's a light on this-"

"Okay, you're drunk again," Garp interrupted him. "Come on, get to bed. It's time to stop stealing our stuff."

So the old Sengoku was lead by his subordinate,

And he...HE HIMSELF...! was hungover the next morning. Now he's not allowed to drink at the Christmas parties.

That's pretty much it.

Merry Christmas.

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