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Akumai vs Garp Fight Prediction

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(The events of this prediction appears in between Enies Lobby and Thriller Bark)

Akumai was sitting quitely on his ship, the Swan Swabber. He stared off at the ocean as he chewed an apple. He was thinking about one thing. Mr 2 sensei. Where are you? He snapped out of his trance as a crewmate stubbled to his presence in a panic. "Cap'n Akumai!" He shouted, "A marine ship approaches!"

Akumai looked confused. "You guys can handle it, can't you?"

"You don't undersand, Cap'n! It's..." He gulped. "...It's Garp's ship!"

Sudden realization and fear had struck Akumai like the rest of the Okama Pirates.

"Stop the ship..." Akumai ordered, clenching his fists.

"But Cap'n Aku-"

"Stop the ship!" "Yessir!"

The Swan Swabber slowed, and when Garp's ship caught up, both ships came to a complete stop. A rope was tossed across to connect the ships. Marines and pirates should guard, armed. Garp, alone, crossed the rope and stepped foot right in front of Akumai.

"You brought this upon yourself, kid. You chose this lifestyle..." His voice boomed. The crews on both ships were caught in an intense silence. "...Grandson."

DON!!!

Akumai swallowed hard. "Yes, men. It's true... I'm Dragon's first son."

Garp confirmed with his marines. "I had to raise a boy named Ace. Eventually, I got a new child to raise, so I gave Ace to some.... friends... Now this new boy, Luffy, he was sent to live with the friends, too. Why? Because I was given a teenager named 'Akumai' to raise."

Akumai took the story. "I grew up on Dragon the Revolutionary's ship. He taught me to be a tough pirate. Ivankov taught me some other things... Then Gramps took me in to be a marine. But I need to be a pirate, Gramps! I need to be!"

Garp stood confused. "A pirate?" He said with doubt. "No, I lost that fight years ago. I raised three others than you and they all turned into pirates! What makes you think I'd care about that?"

"But then-?" Akumai shared the same confused look.

"I was talking about being gay! No son of mine's a queer! What is this 'Okama Kempo' crap? Remember those ball games I watched with you? And the time I took you to the whore house?"

"Hey!" Akumai detested. His crew joined in the chant. "We're here, we're here, get used to-"

Garp interupted. "What's next? The Furry Pirates?"

"You leave Miss Father's Day out of this!"

Both ships pulled over at Blue Ball Island. The marines and the pirates ignored eachother and crowded around Akumai and Garp, now face-to-wrinkly-face on the island's shore.

"Normally I'd beat your ass in with the Fists of Love," Garp taunted. "but I don't think I could do that with your little 'gay' condition. I'll beat you with the Fists of Heterosexuality!"

"Don't think I'll be an easy fight! I may be ranked low on Baroque Works, but that's only because I promised my boyfriend, Mayor Boodle, that I'd keep a low profile. I can actually fight with a high arrange of three-technique attacks!"

Garp was ignoring him, picking his nose. "Mental note; Kick Boodle's Ass."

Akumai was losing patients "...Technique one; Okama Kenpo! Technique two; swordsmenship! Technique three; Devil Fruit powers!"

Garp was shocked. "You've eaten a devil fruit, too?! I swear, that use to be a big deal..."

"Yes. Do you think this hairdo is only decoration?" From the top of his forhead, a black swan head emerged from his hair, and some tail-feathers in the back, creating somewhat of a swan-mullet. "My Gamou Gamou no Mi Powers!"

A movie director stood and watched. "A black swan? On this ballerina? That gives me an idea..."

Garp laughed. "What's that suppose to do? Bahahaha!"

Akumai joined in laughter. "Fufufufufu! You underestimate me!"

"Come at me, bro." Intimated Garp.

The leapt in the air, Garp preparing a haki-boosted punch, and Akumai readying his sword. When the two collided, the shockwave caused all the spectators to pass out.

"Looks like interferences won't be a problem now."

Garp lunged forward, attempting to kick him, but Akumai started flapping the wings on his head and dodged. Garp was atonished. "You can fly with those!?"

Akumai smirked. "It's not the only thing I can do with them." The swan head dove in, and started to peck Garp.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow! Knock it off!" Garp punched Akumai right in the face, sending him flying into a cliffside.

Akumai got up, and acted unphased by it. In reality, his skull was partially shattered. "That the best you've got, Garp?"

Garp was enraged. "I'll beat the black off you!"

"I'm not black!"

Garp's haki was rising to visibility. He lunged forward again, this time connecting the blow. Akumai just spat out the blood and shrugged it off. But he didn't think he could take much more of this. I can't take much more of this. That was his literal thought. But the illusion worked on Garp, and startled him. He could totally take much more of this! Garp pummeled Akumai to the ground. "Die, damn you!"

Akumai used his head-wings to slither away from Garps attack. Once he was free, Akumai put both hands on his head, and lifted his hair right off. He had a plain, short hairdo underneath. The hair he yanked off, retained it's swan-shape. It started to fly off and attack Garp. Another set of wings emmerged from Akumai's second lair. It turned into a second swan completely. He took off that hair, too. As Garp was being pecked by both swans, Akumai grew his third swan on his head.

"Enough!" Shouted Garp, using haki.

"Haki isn't going to work, Gramps. Those things don't have minds. They're just hair."

Garp found another solution. He punched the hair-bird. The first one was punched right through, breaking apart to a pile of hair. But Garp was losing energy fast, and his second punch got stuck in the middle of the hair-swan. He tried shaking it off, but it was caught tight. Akumai pointed up, directing the swan. The hairball flew up, dragging Garp up with it.

"Perfect!" Akumai expressed. With his new toy, Garp would forcefully go flying where ever Akumai pointed. Garp was crashing into mountains, getting pounded to the ground, and scrapping against the stones.

Garp had no way to fight back. "I didn't want to have to do this, but..." Garp swallowed his pride. He took a giant bite into the hair-swan. Within a minute, he had eaten the whole thing off his hand. Falling back to solid ground, he removed a hair or two off of his tongue.

Akumai shrugged. "This battle isn't over, old man. I've got plenty of hair, so see if you can fight it all!"

"Better put that power to use, kid, before I break your spine!" Garp threatened.

Akumai plucked off seven more hair-swans. He directed them in V-formation. With his own hair-wings, he flew up to the point of the V and lead the flock. "Gamou Gamou Dive!" The eight of them dove, beak first, at Garp.

Garp was prepared. He cocked his fist. But right before they made impact, Akumai bailed. He flew upward, making Garp's attack miss, and putting him in a vurnurable state. As the hair-swans fluttered around him, pecking, Akumai flipped around and axe-kicked Garp's open head.

Garp recovered, and he grabbed a hair-bird right out of the air. "Feels a bit lighter than a cannon." He darted the swan forward, hitting several swans on the way. The final target was Akumai, whom was hit straight in the chest.

The two looked into eachother's eyes. They were both thinking about the same thing.

~Flashback~

Garp was reading a newspaper back at Windmill Village. He still had his youth, his natural haircolor, and his full potential.

From right behind him, a cloaked man appeared. Garp suddenly noticed him.

"Dragon!" Garp shouted.

"Hi, pops. It's me. I'm here to drop off this little demon."

A teenage Akumai shyly walked out, eyes widened. He stared off blankly.

Garp observed him. "He doesn't seem that hellish..."

Dragon laughed. "That's just because of what Ivankov did to him today. He'll return to normal in a bit. I'm sure of it."

"I'm not raising another brat, Dragon! You promised me you could handle this one! And plus, I have to look after Luffy!"

"And Ace, right?"

"Who? Oh, right. Ace. Yeah, he's totally here."

Dragon had dissappeared. Garp, frustrated, took Akumai home.

"Okay, Luffy. Ready to meet your new brother?"

"Oh boy!" Luffy said, waking up from his nap.

Garp called for Akumai. "A-" but then he noticed that Akumai was long gone.

Garp paused for a second. "-ce is his name. Ace."

So the next day, Garp gave Luffy to Dadan, and went on a search for Akumai. When he found him, he had sworded through village after village. "Bad Akumai! Fist of Love!"

They had many adventures together. Garp forgot to pick up Ace and Luffy after a few months as planned, so he let them stay. When he came to get them again, some Sabo kid had joined their team. Garp decided that one kid was enough, and that Dadan could handle the other three.

One day, Garp left the village for a quick Marine run. He captured 40 pirates in a day. But what he didn't know was the Widmill Village had a visistor that day.

"Un, Deux, Hello~!"

"What your name, weirdo?" Akumai questioned. "Is it "Weirdo?"

"My name? Why, if I trusted you and you asked, I'd tell you it's Bentham! If not, I'd say it's Mr. 2! Or maybe Bon Clay? Who knows!? So instead, I'll tell you I'm Mr. 2 Bon Clay!" The strange man was spinning in circles. "Or maybe it's Kurei? These translations are hard to follow..."

Akumai was a bit annoyed. "Then why'd you tell me all the names?!"

Bon Clay giggled. "Fufufufufu! I guess I just don't know what to think of you!"

Akumai looked away. "That's stupid." He said.

"Maybe so..." Bon Clay added. "But if I didn't tell you, what would you call me?"

Akumai answered. "Weirdo." He stormed off, although he didn't know what he was mad at to be honest.

The next day, Garp was summoned for a meeting. Bon Clay returned again in his absense. "Hello, friend~!"

Akumai was still pissed. "Hi, Weirdo."

"I never caught your name."

"I never gave it."

"Oh? Is that sooo? Then, what is it~?!"

"..."

"Fine. I'lll call you....Hm..." Mr. 2 sat and thought for a bit.

He stared intensly at the boy. His mouth curled together. His eyes started to cross. He placed two fingers on the boy's cheek. He started nodding his head up and down, faster, faster.

"Akumai! That's what I'll call you!" Bon Clay danced gleefully.

Akumai stood jaw open. "How'd you know that?"

Bon Clay smile. "A magician never reveals his secret!"

Akumai laughed. He didn't know why, again.

"So, Aku-Chan? What do you do for fun~?"

"Fun? I train. And destroy stuff." Akumai confessed.

"Training's good, but destroying is bad! Very bad!" Bon Clay dramatically acted out a faint.

"What would you know, Weirdo?"

"You need a new hobby," Mr. 2 jumped up, "a new way to train!"

Akumai quietly watched. After Mr. 2 Bon Clay decided that Akumai wasn't going to speak, he continued.

"O-"

Bon Clay lifted one foot up to his own face.

"Ka-"

He bowed his head down to his waist, with his foot still up.

"Ma-"

He leapt up with his grounded foot and twirled in the air. As he landed, he did an open-arm Ta-Da~ pose.

"Kenpoooooo~!"

Bon Clay began a wide arrange of steps and dances, performing while Akumai stood in awe.

"Okama Kenpo?" Akumai repeated, confused. "You want me to dance?"

"Dancing is such a bland word, don't you agree~? You need to move with the beat in your heart! Un, Deux, Follow me~!"

Akumai was motionless.

"Un, Deux, Come on~! Un, Deux, Surprise~!"

Akumai stood. "Un..." He said as he lifted his foot. "Deux..." he began to twirl. "This sucks!" He stopped and walked away. But after that day, Mr. 2 came over whenever Garp left to teach Akumai the Okama Way.

Akumai learned to love the techniques. He become a strong warrior with the Okama Kenpo. He also picked up swordsmenship. At first he mastered 21 sword style, but he decided to stick with 1 sword after a while.

However, Garp stayed home some days. Bon Clay never showed up those days. "Why do you only come when he's gone, Weirdo?"

"Well, Aku-Chan, I do things for an organization called Baroque Works. Your grandpa can't know!"

"Baroque Works? Can I join?"

"You can be my right-hand-man someday! But heavens, not now!"

Akumai later learned that Bon Clay wasn't the only person who showed up when Garp left. A group of mountain bandits raided the village once. The villagers couldn't hold off.

"Okay, Aku-Chan~! It's up to us! FIGHT! It's the Okama Way~!"

The two were heavily winning, when the bandits pulled out a secret weopon. They rigged up a cannon to fire little bullets like a gattling gun. With cannon-like force, they easily chunked out your skin. Once they located Akumai, they fired at him until his entire body was shattered.

Then Akumai showed up. "Weirdo-San? Where are you?"

Bon Clay reverted back to his normal face.

Akumai got down to his knees, crying. "Weirdo! Why did you use my face!?"

Bon Clay didn't answer. He just smiled.

"Don't you know, Aku-Chan?" He coughed out some blood. "Queers never die..."

Akumai couldn't control his tears. He screamed out.

Bon laughed. Then he made a shocked face "Oh? Is that so?" he said.

Then they both laughed. Garp returned and arrested all the bandits. Bon Clay dissappeared. He did leave a note for Akumai.

Aku-Chan~! Find me in the dessert island of Arabasta when you turn 18! Good luck~! Un, Duex, Goodbye~!

Akumai did. He joined Baroque Works, and he restrained his full strength so he could be under Mr. 2 Bon Clay. After Bon Clay went to Impel Down, Akumai became captain of the Okama Pirates.

~End of Flashback~

They both snapped out of it at the same time. Garp punched Akumai in the ribs. He then jumped back, and tossed the Swan Swabber at Akumai. When he say Akumai still standing, he tossed his own Marine ship.

Akumai, barely breathing, still stood. He plopped off his hair a few more times to busy Garp. Garp was weakened, because through that hold flashback-period, the hairswans were pecking out his eyes.

Akumai saw his chance. "I really didn't want to do this, Gramps. But this is life or death!" Akumai dove up with his swans, and he continuously circled the sky. He eventually turned into a buzzsaw of hair. He directed this bzzsaw at Garp.

Garp refuse to dodge. He just stood there, shedding manly tears.

When the buzzsaw connected, Garp was sawn in half.

Akumai started to cry. "I killed him..."

Garp layed there, on the cold ground. "No I'm not."

Akumai freaked out, as if Garp was a zombie "You should be dead!"

Garp frowned. "But...don't you know?"

... everything grew silent.

"Queers never die" Garp finished, starting to smile.

Akumai began to laugh. "Oh? Is that so?"

So the fighting ended. Garp accepted that he was gay. He also promised never to harm a child of his again. Not even at Marineford. Luffy never learned about his biological brother, but Akumai wanted it like that.

THE FREAKIN' END.

Should Ryu make more fight predictions like this?
 
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The poll was created at 19:24 on June 4, 2011, and so far 19 people voted.

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