Disclaimer: The author reserves the right to acknowledge that his own work is potentially unlikely and sensationalist, but made anyway in the interests of entertainment. In no way does this work necessarily reflect the author’s own prospective view of the forthcoming legitimate chapter.
Franky and the Thunderous Soldier of Rage exit a Cinema which bears the legend: Now showing- ‘The Sad History of Dressrosa’ 15:30- Kyros, starring Kirk Douglas.
Franky: (in tears) What a sad history!
TSoR: So very sad.
Franky: And so vital to the plot!
TSoR: Ohhh yes. Definitely vital.
Franky: I dedicate a song to this city (takes out a guitar and strums) ‘Misfortune beats down like the Sun upon your beautiful streets’.
TSoR: You haven’t done that gag post-Timeskip yet.
Franky: How would you know?
TSoR: We must meet with the rest of the revolutionaries to take control of the Smile factory. Follow me comrade!
A backstreet of Acacia
Zoro lies on the floor, looking up in disbelief. A bag of stolen contents lies next to him, as well as Shusui. Standing close by and looking down at him is a gen-u-ine Fairy: small and childlike, but with small butterfly wings which are impractical for flight, similar to the residents of Skypeia. Bug antennae stick out from their hair. This one is a boy.
Fairy: Oh no, I’ll get in trouble for this! This isn’t good…
Zoro: (frowning) You look like a Sky-islander. But that doesn’t fit…what are you?
Fairy: Very rarely will a human or toy see a Fairy, let alone corner us.
Zoro: (getting up, picking up Shusui in his right hand as he does so) So the myth really does have some truth to it...what were you doing, trying to take my sword?
Fairy: This sword must be extremely valuable; you ran halfway across Acacia just to get it back. It’s our privilege to take what we desire from the citizens of this country. In return their lives are blessed with beauty, passion and desire. You were all distracted by that Admiral, so I took what I liked and made for my home.
Zoro: That’s a bad habi…(The Fairy’s words sink in) Wait, what did you say? The old Blind Man was an Admiral? How do you know?
Fairy: We’re the ‘invisible deities of Dressrosa’, there’s nothing we don’t know about.
Zoro: I knew there was something uncommon about him. I should get back to the others and warn them. (He makes to leave, but hesitates, turning back to the Fairy) You know everything that happens here? Do you know about the Smile Factory?
Fairy: Of course!
Zoro: (close up of his scary expression) Tell me everything…
In front of the Café Bar La Baltad, near Green Bit
The Caesar handing over team are still waiting at their table. Law and Robin are on edge, watching CP-0. Ussop is nervously drinking his coffee. Caesar is silently sweating.
Ussop: (without conviction) Ahh, I’ve had my coffee now and I feel great!
Law: Good, CP-0 have moved away. Let’s take this opportunity and make our way across the bridge (checks the time on a clock in the café) It’s almost time to make the trade-off.
They leave the table and make their way toward the bridge.
Café owner: Good luck! It’s your funeral!
Ussop: (pretending to ignore that) So who are CP-0 anyway?
Robin: Well, CP9 were a secret section of assassins concerned with preserving the internal stability of the World Government. However, CP-0 are tasked with combating threats which extend beyond the control of the World Government, namely: the territories and activities of the Yonko and the New World as well as the Shichibukai, to a certain extent.
Ussop: The Shichibukai? How do you mean?
Robin: Put it like this: If Crocodile was revealed to have been the head of Baroque Works before he was defeated, then CP-0 would have been sent to intercept him. Or, to put it another way: somebody had to capture Jinbe when he refused to join the Marines in the War against Whitebeard two years ago. In summary: they are the Government’s insurance policy against defection. And there are currently two people on this island to whom that will apply…
Law, walking ahead of them, says nothing, his eyes obscured by the brim of his hat.
In an alleyway, near to the Café
CP-0 watch their progress from an alley nearby. The smaller agent speaks first.
Agent1: That must be Law. No one else would have the gall. He doesn’t seem to be accompanied by his normal crew however…
Agent2 (the Longarm tribe agent): So we can assume that the others are members of the Straw Hats. It appears that their alliance is more trusting than the average rookie’s agreement. Interesting.
Agent3 (the tall man, seldom speaks): But their own Captain has absented himself.
Agent2: Corrida Coliseum is holding a contest around the Mera Mera no Mi. Doubtless he was lured into a trap of Doflamingo’s design.
Agent1: Leave Straw Hat for the others to intercept. Both he and Law an irrelevance at this point.
They begin to move out from the shade of the building.
Agent1: First we must secure our interests in this country.
The Thousand Sunny, Deck
Nami, Brook, Chopper and Monosuke are warily facing the door to the kitchen. Clutters and clangs can be heard from inside.
Nami: Who…who is there?
Monosuke: (in dragon form, snaked around Nami; quivering) I am not afraid!
Chopper: What do you suppose is making that noise?
Turns to find Brook’s soul floating next to him
Chopper: Wah, scary!
Brook: Ah! I was so shocked that my soul left my body.
Nami: Go and see what’s on the other side of the door.
Brook: As you wish, Nami-san.
He floats seamlessly into the next room. The crashing stops, and he suddenly exclaims. The unknown intruder screams.
???: Argh!! A ghost! Ghost!
The door flings open and another fairy, a girl this time, is standing there. Brook floats out to them.
Brook: I cannot believe my eyes! Though I am a skeleton, and therefore have no eyes. Yohohohohohoho!
Monosuke: What is that thing?
The Iron Bridge to Green Bit
The party are guardedly approaching the mid-section of the bridge.
Law: Don’t make too much noise, we’re about halfway. The large fighting fish won’t be provoked if we don’t draw attention to ourselves.
Ussop: Will that work?
A clang is heard on the underside of the Iron bridge. The outline of a fish’s head has made a huge dent.
Law: Not at all.
The group begin to run across the bridge, as a Fighting Fish leaps into the air to the right of the bridge. Unlike the little fighting fish the adults are humungous, easily six times bigger. It flies through the air toward them, jaws opened. Robin stops and lifts her arms in readiness to counter.
Robin: Gigantesco Mano
The great hands are used to grapple with the open jaws of the fighting fish, stopping its progress. However behind her, on the left side, another leaps upwards. Ussop aims his Kuro Kabuto at its jaws.
Ussop: Midori Boshi: Impact Wolf
The verdant wolf collides with the Fighting Fish in mid-air but the shockwave does not deflect it, but throws it down upon the bridge’s deck.
Ussop: Not enough? Okay, I’ll try…Midori Boshi: Take Javelin!
He fires the pop green into the mouth of the fish, the bamboo preventing the fish from closing its jaws. Law and Caesar turn to survey the scene as the two Straw Hats grapple with the monstrous fish.
Caesar: Dammit…If I could use my gasu-gasu abilities, we wouldn’t have to worry about those dumb fish! Hey, Law! Let me free! I can take care of this!
Law: Not a chance.
Ussop: (strained) We won’t last if many more show up.
Robin: We ought to survive until they digest us.
Ussop & Caesar: Don’t say that!!
Law: We haven’t got time for this. Room
A large bubble is formed, extending to Green Bit.
The group are transported to the end of the bridge Green Bit. Where they once were, the two fish leap forward uninhibited, colliding with each other.
Robin: (brightly) That was close wasn’t it?
Ussop: (shivering and pointing) Lllll…lllll….lllook th…th…th…there!
Law: (frowning) He’s already here…
Acacia, bottom of the steps
Kin’emon is surrounded by Doflamingo’s lackeys.
Kin’emon: What did you say about Kanjuro?!
Man in the spiked helmet: You ‘eard.
Doflamingo has been waiting, sitting cross-legged on the grass verge. Behind him stands the lone shadowy outline of the Spade chair’s occupant. Doflamingo is grinning.
Doflamingo: So you made it after all. I was concerned that the Fighting Fish might prove too much for you.
Law: Shut up.
Doflamingo: Oh come now. I did what you asked me to do, and you’ve kept your end of the bargain. Some sort of civility has been earned between us, surely?
Law: Don’t call me Shirley!
Doflamingo turns to Caesar Clown, who is still fatigued by the ordeal, as well as Robin and Ussop.
Doflamingo: I’m glad to see that my key asset remains in One Piece…
Caesar: (anguished) Joker, I’m so sorry! I failed you!
Ussop: (whispers) Oy, Robin. I don’t see any others except for that shady guy behind him.
Robin: He must be one of the stronger members.
Law: I don’t want to waste time. Let’s just get on with…
The shadowy figure from behind Doflamingo raises his right arm and fires a series of spikes on chains toward Robin, which wrap themselves around her, restricting her movement. Law reacts immediately.
A large Bubble is formed and Law raises his arm in readiness but now finds he cannot move. Doflamingo has raised his hand, his wire powers holding Law in place.
Doflamingo: I’d like to propose a new deal…
Back room of a Restaurant
All around are Toys and Humans. Think of it as a sort of Toy town equivalent to the Star Wars Cantina. Franky and the Thunderous Soldier of Rage enter from the stairs.
TsoR: (standing atop a platform) Attention everyone!
The room falls silent. All eyes turn toward the little soldier man.
TsoR: As many of you know, Doflamingo has resigned as both Shichibukai and, more importantly, King of Dressrosa. Clearly there’s something else going on behind the scenes which can’t be working in his favour. I say the time to act is now! Let’s kick him when he’s down, rescue our friends and take back the old toy factory!
Franky: (to himself) These guys can take care of the workers and give me time to destroy the parts manufacturing that smile stuff…(a thought occurs to him) Huh? Did you say the old toy factory?
TSoR: Where else did you think we came from? Toys are made, not born! Didn’t you pay attention to ‘the sad history of Dressrosa’?
Franky: Must’ve dropped off by that stage. Is that why your leg has never been repaired?
TSoR: No. I lost my receipt.
On the outskirts of Acacia
Sanji is walking arm in arm with Violet, who has her head on his shoulder. The smoke from his cigarette forms hearts in the air.
Sanji: What is this feeling? 'I’m in love! Why's the sun shining? I'm in love'!...
Violet: Are you okay?
Sanji: Oh, nothing.
Violet: (resting her head upon his shoulder once more) You’re so hardy, I’ve never felt so secure.
Sanji grins, tears in his eyes as they walk along the street, they pass a jewellers.
Sanji’s nostrils explode with a stream of blood
Sanji: I’ve just had a great idea!
Violet: (clasping her hands to her mouth) What’s wrong?!
Sanji: Just wait here!
He leaves the bemused Violet and rushes into the shop. The Jeweller looks up.
Jeweller: Can I help you sir?
Sanji: I need a ring!
Jeweller: This is the place for it. What’s your budget?
Sanji: The most expensive you’ve got!!
Jeweller: Okay, the high quality range starts at 86,000,000
Sanji: (taken aback) That’s more than my own bounty!
Jeweller: Who is this ring for by the way?
Sanji: The most beautiful woman I have ever known, and the love of my life!
The Jeweller gives him a look
Jeweller: …You’re not a local are you…Here, look at this (pulls out an assorted box of rings) These are all rings discarded by the widows, the jealous and the just plain careless. We tend not to sell these officially as there are many round here who would be infuriated to see their old jewellery worn by another woman. Of course, if you’re not too bothered by that…any one of these is yours for 7,500,000…
Sanji: (picks out a silver ring set with a sapphire) This one! It’s perfect!
Jeweller: Well, good luck then, sir (Sanji dashes out. Jeweller shakes his head).
Sanji: (eye in the shape of a heart, hearts surrounding him) Viooollllletttt-saaaan, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?!
She has disappeared.
He stands alone, quietly. Couples walk passed all around him, unconcerned.
Doflamingo directs Law to perform Shambles to remove Caesar’s handcuffs. The latter laughs and floats upwards, taking off his disguise as he goes. The Bubble disappears.
Law: (looking strained) Dammit…
Doflamingo: How did you think this was going to end?
Caesar: Shulolololololo, free once more (He turns toward Ussop) now to exact my revenge! Too bad you don’t have another pair of Sea Stone at hand now!
He raises his hand as Ussop reaches into his bag, aiming the Kuro Kabuto toward the scientist. Suddenly appearing behind Caesar is Agent2, the Longarm tribesman, who has extended his right arm as far back as it can; his index finger raised. Caesar begins to turn in shock, but…
Agent2: Shigan Snipe!
Punctured through the heart and in spite of his Logia defence, the Scientist falls to the ground, bleeding and unconscious. (Again! Jeez…) Agent2 lands next to his peers, Agents 1 and 3, who have also arrived across the bridge. Doflamingo is furious, and no longer smiling.
Doflamingo: What are you doing?!
Agent3: We cannot allow the Smile to fall into undesirable hands.
Tap, Tap, Tap
Agent2: Did you indeed get bored of your deal with Cipher Pol Aigis Zero?
Agent1: Your limitless supply of Zoan fruits would have augmented our forces no end…but you had no intention of affording us such an opportunity. The policy of the Cipher Pols has remained the same throughout history: If it cannot be utilised for the good of the World Government, it must be eliminated.
Doflamingo: I have nothing to fear from any of you.
Fujitora: Perhaps you do not fear them…
All turn: Issho stands in front of the Iron bridge, his subordinate by his side. He raises his sword stick and begins to unsheathe the blade within. The bridge behind him is crushed by the overwhelming force applied to it, ripping the main section from its supports and dragging it down into the sea.
Fujitora: ...But the guilty will have need to fear the weight of their sins.
And the chapter ends there. Phew!' 😺
*I didn’t want to attempt to second guess the history of Dressrosa (which really will be important) so it’s been skipped, which is ironic, as it will probably comprise the entirety of the real chapter 710.
*The scenes outside of the Green Bit narrative were quite hard to make even a little realistic. The Zoro/Fairy scene was particularly difficult as I’d already dicked about with the ‘History of Dressrosa’ bit at the beginning and didn’t want another cop out so soon.
*Ussop’s coffee quote is a reference to the old guy in the original Pokémon Red and Blue games. If you remember those…
*Outtake: Having written the Sanji and Violet part after forgetting that they were not in Dressrosa’s capital yet, but merely in the port town, I had to change the scene where they briefly infiltrate the castle. But I thought it was amusing, so I’ve put here anyway:
Violet: We’re getting close, are you really sure you could do this for me?
Sanji: Anything for you…my lady.
They stand in an alley facing the castle’s drawbridge entrance
Violet: Okay. He should be inside, but there are guards all around.
Sanji: I won’t let you crease your beautiful face with worry. Leave it to me!
Sanji leaps forwards, quickly performing a series of kicks to disable the guards at the entrance.
Violet: (coming to join him) You truly are amazing. It’s (she turns away, blushing) really impressed me.
Sanji: (playing it cool) A man in love is capable of anything, especially if it’s with the most beautiful woman in the world.
Violet: Let’s get going.
They make their way to the door with Sanji leading the way. He walks in to the courtyard, but pauses, his feet stuck.
Sanji: What’s this?
He tries to pull free but finds he cannot. A dark blob rises on the wall behind him.
Trébol: Behehehehe, you’ve fallen victim to our trap. Did you think that you could just walk in here?
Sanji looks up, glaring. From out of an alcove appears Baby 5.
Baby 5: It’s gone as the young lord anticipated I see.
Sanji turns to Violet who is standing behind him, immobilised.
Sanji: (wide eyed) Quick, get out of here!
Trébol drops down behind her, blocking her exit. Behind him, Baby 5’s right arm is transforming into a baton.
Baby 5: Buki-morphose: Blackjack
She strikes him across the head. Sanji buckles. He falls to the floor, unconscious.
Trébol: (watching him fall) I recognise the back of your head from the new wanted poster (looms over Baby 5) He’s one of the Straw Hats you know.
Baby 5: I get that, you’re too close (stepping away and catching sight of a group of policemen tending to their fallen comrades outside) Two of you come over here. (points to Sanji) Put him with the Samurai in the holding room until the young lord returns (taking Violet by the arm) You will come with me.
*This scene also covered Kin’emon’s previous absence in this chapter with Baby 5’s final remarks. Having to remove this section became a pain, as it meant I’d have to come up with something for Kin’emon as well ¬_¬ Not that I don’t like Kin’emon! But…having already reached the 2000 word mark I really didn’t want to spend too much more time on this thing. Hence why his scene is short in the final version as well. Also, Baby 5’s transformation didn’t include her entire body, so the ‘girl’ epithet was left out of her attack.
*Couldn’t think of an appropriate Sanji-scenario for a while until, whilst reading through Chapter 705 once again, I realised that the best way to approach it was to literally think, ‘What would Sanji do?’ And there it was: he says he’s in love, what’s he going to do? Find a jewellery shop. Classic.
*CP-0’s objectives are based upon the scene from episode 513 where Doflamingo meets a member of the World Government: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooBkgnI8wd4 The deal they speak of perhaps insinuates a connection deeper than merely contracting Doflamingo to ensure Moria’s demise (which surely they ought to have been capable of themselves anyway? ‘Strongest Cipher Pol’ can’t just be fo sho, y’dig?). Of course, it is a massive assumption that the World Government employee is a member of CP-0, but his clothes seem to fit the part, and Doflamingo’s reference to his resignation perhaps foreshadows the current arc, as well as CP-0 deployment in Dressrosa.
*I thought of Shakespeare’s lines when coming up with Fujitora’s spiel. Find it gets the job done in terms of finishing on an Epic note.
Thank you for reading :3 Here’s hoping Oda-sensei gets well soon!