Dedicated to Harambe, I'd put my dick out for you if I had one
Kaido: Who do they think they are?? That team has tangled with the wrong Yonko! No one goes up against Kaido!
Sheepshead: Perfectly darn right!
Kaido: Destroyed. Derelict. Pushed against a Birdcage! Why, it's more than I can bear.
Sheepshead: More ethanol?
Kaido: What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.
Sheepshead: Who, you? Never! Kaido, you've got to pull yourself together!
Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Kaido, looking like you're in a cage
Every guy here'd love to be you Kaido, even when taking your rage
There's no man in Wano as admired as you, you're everyone's favorite beast!
Everyone's awed and inspired by you, and it's not hard to see in the leeeeeasst
Sick as Kaido, no one's quick as Kaido, no one's chest's as incredibly thick as Kaido's
For there's no beast in town half as beastly, perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Scotch, Jack, Ginrummy
And they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be ooooon
Gifters chorus joins in
No one's greased like Kaido, a king beast like Kaido
No one's got their outfits so pieced like Kaido!
Kaido: As a specimen, yes, I'm intiiiiimmidating!
Chorus: Let's feast, what a beast, that Kaido!
Give five "heils" and twelve smiles!
Kaido is the best and the rest has no style!
Noooo oooone flies like Kaido, Yonko defies like Kaido
From a Sky Island nobody dies like Kaido!
Girls Ship: For there's no one as despairing and longing
Kaido: As you see, I've got life force to spare
Sheepshead: Not a bit of him's fluffy or klutzy
Kaido: That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair
Gifters Chorus: No one's peer with Kaido, chugs his beer like Kaido
Sheepshead: In a pirate game no one strikes fear like Kaido!
Kaido: I'm especially good at defenestrating! Kablooey!
Gifters Chorus: Ten SMILEs for Kaido!
Kaido: When I was a lad I did four suicides, every morning to help me get tough. And now that I'm grown I do five suicides, so I'm standing out here in the BUFFFFFFF
Gifters Chorus: Ohh, ahh, wow!
No one scorns like Kaido, rocks those horns like Kaido
Sheepshead: Then goes tromping around through the thorns like Kaido!
Kaido: I use SMILEs in all of my decoraaating!
Gifters Chorus: Say it out east! Who's the king of the beasts?
And then say it once more, who's that guy starting war?
Who's a super Yonko, don't you know, in the snow?
Ask Eustass and his three Disastersssss
There's just one guy uptown who's got grips on the crooooown
Sheepshead: And his name's...
Gifters Chorus: KAIDO!!!!!