In the realm of La Mancha, known to the common folk as Mariejois, lived a celestial hidalgo named Doflamingo. Eventually, the reading of books about the common man turned Doflamingo insane, as he went down from his position to the common world to restore justice to the common man....although it didn't help much when he told the needy that whoever wins the war would be justice, but at least he tried. Oh, and he wasn't the one who read books and decided to leave, no that was his dad.
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But he did go insane,
and that was when he decided to adopt the name...Don Quixote De Flamingo, and became the Black Knight of justice!
But to be a true knight, he needed a nag to ride. So he called up the reliable one, Rocinante.
Rocinante: Hey! I'm not a nag, I'm your little brother!
Doflamingo: Isn't that the same thing? Giddyup!
Much much later
At this point they came in sight of 30 or 40 windmills, up on a distant hill, and as soon as Doflamingo saw it, he said to his squire, "Fortune is arranging matters for us better than we could have shaped our desires ourselves, for look there, friend Panza, where a monstrous giant presents himself, all of whom I mean to engage in battle and slay, and with whose spoils we shall begin to make our fortunes; for this is righteous warfare, and it is God's-er, mine good service to sweep so evil a breed from off the face of the earth."
"What giants?" said Sancho Panza.
"Those thou seest there," answered his master, "with the long arms, and some have them nearly two leagues long."
"Look, your worship," said Panza; "what we see is not giants but windmills, and what seem to be their arms are the sails that turned by the wind make the millstone go."
"It is easy to see," replied Doflamingo, "that thou art not used to this business of adventures; those are giants; and if thou art afraid, away with thee out of this and betake thyself to prayer while I engage them in fierce and unequal combat."
So saying, he gave the spur to his steed Rocinante, heedless of the cries his squire Sancho sent after him, warning him that most certainly they were windmills and not giants he was going to attack. He, however, was so positive they were giants that he neither heard the cries of Sancho, nor perceived, near as he was, what they were, but made at them shouting, "Fly not, cowards and vile beings, for a single knight attacks you."
Several hours ago, Buffalo was trekking through the hills when he got tired. Time for a power nap. However, barely 5 hours in, he was rudely awakened by some lunatic riding on a horse pointing a spear at him. That was it. No one interrupted his nap!
Panza: Boss! Turn around! That is an actual giant!
Doflamingo: Whatever est thou talking about, nag? That is but a mere decoy, senteth by the giants to distract me! But I, Doflamingo de la Mariejois, do seeth through their lies!
But alas, one of Buffalo's rotors easily caught Doflamingo, sending him spiraling up in the air. Right then, Rocinante took off, knowing it was a great time to alert his true rider, Sengoku. Doflamingo just couldn't give it to him like Sengoku or Law could. However, even when Doflamingo was spinning around, he could
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still aim well
and Rocinante went to the glue factory to make some glue, obviously. He won't stop until Doflamingo's mouth finally shuts!
After being taken a whole 270 degrees, Doflamingo landed hard on the ground. As Buffalo prepared to deal the finishing blow, Doflamingo mourned his exceedingly bad luck with windmills. Suddenly, Panza stepped in and countered the blow! But the force was simply too much, and Panza was caught in the throat, ripping his Adam's apple clear out. He screamed in pain.
...
...
...
Buffalo: OK, did Kaido get writer's block or something?
Doflamingo: I guess. We can stop this shitty blog now, how wonderful!
Panza: WONDERFUL????!! MY ADAM'S APPLE IS MISSING!
Doflamingo: Screw your Adam's apple, some horse ghost ate it a while back. Tell you what, you can be an executive in my family. I'll call you...Pica!
Pica: Ooooh! What does that mean?
Doflamingo: Some suit of cards in another language or something.
Buffalo: Can I be an executive too, Doffy?
Doflamingo: No, your acting sucked. I bet if I broke your neck you wouldn't even know to act dead.
Pica: Wait...I see something in the distance...what is it...NO! IT CAN'T BE!
Doflamingo: What are you yammering about...OH SHIT! IT CAN'T BE COMING!
Buffalo: What are you talking about, guys?
Doflamingo: That thing on the horizon...it was never meant to come so soon...and when it does, this wiki will be plunged into darkness!
Buffalo: What's a wiki?
Doflamingo: A site that makes too many assumptions about you. But that's not important. It's almost here now...prepare yourselves for...