5,623 Pages

Marine HQ, shortly after Kadar and Hina left.

Cancer: Fleet Admiral, sir, you didn't answer their question and I was wondering the same thing. Why did you pick rear admirals for this assignment? Vice Admiral Dalmatian even specializes in recon and Vice Admiral Mozambia is an infiltration specialist. Everyone knows that.

Sakazuki: That's exactly why I didn't choose a vice admiral.

Cancer: Excuse me, sir?

Sakazuki: When was the last time you went on an assignment to somewhere well-populated?

Cancer: It was the island famous for its musicians, what's its name....Bolero.

Sakazuki: And who was second in command under you?

Cancer: I believe it was Commodore Very Good. Yeah, Daigin was on leave, and Very Good was a last minute replacement.

Sakazuki: And how fast did people recognize you?

Cancer: Almost as soon as I stepped off the dock. They seemed relieved to see me and someone called out in admiration "It's Vice Admiral Cancer from Marine HQ!" I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it somewhat.

Sakazuki (a slight grin on his face): And did Commodore Very Good get any attention?

Cancer: No, commodores don't get attention like that. (realization dawns) And neither do rear admirals!

Sakazuki: Exactly. That's why I chose them. Rear admirals are all of the authority with none of the celebrity. I first realized it from the Sabaody incident two years ago. The two commanding officers there were Admiral Kizaru and Rear Admiral Sicily. 

Cancer: Admiral Kizaru got all the pirate and non-pirate attention and Rear Admiral Sicily got none.

Sakazuki: I realized then that it wasn't just Kizaru's reputation, it was Sicily's rank. Rear admirals are the perfect people for this kind of assignment because they still have the admiralty, but can slip in with a crowd.

Cancer: Great idea, sir.

Back to the plot people care about.

Hina (running through halls with Kadar): What do we do? We can't make it down in time!

Kadar (spying a window): I hope you know geppo.

Kadar grabs her by the wrist and runs for the window. He gets in a semi-crouching position and crosses his arms over his face. When he gets outside, he kicks off with geppo, traveling a great distance before kicking off again (think jumping through trees in Naruto, but instead of trees, it's geppo).

Hina (also geppoing): Kadar, wait up, my geppo's not as strong as yours!

Kadar: We need to get away from here NOW!

Hina uses Baori and catches Kadar by the leg to try to catch up. The two fall and crash land in the forest around the mansion.

Hina: What is going on? Why did we have to leave, suddenly? Why are you freaking out?

Kadar: The book on the top shelf released a weight that set off a signal flare. I noticed the smoke when we jumped out the window. 

Hina: How did you know that before we left?

Kadar (showing her the note): I found this inside the book that set off the flare. 

Hina (reading it): You realize this might compromise all the information we collected, right?

Kadar: I know, but the part that tells us about the the location of the info in the library leaves a chance it could be legit. We'll have to submit this note in the mission report and get the real Cipher Pols to check out the other things we found. 

Hina (putting the book in her coat pocket after removing what they were looking for): There's a chance one of us might get caught, so while we have this time, let's copy what we've each found. That way, if something happens to one of us, we can can still give everything in the report.

Kadar: Good idea.

They quickly exchance and copy each other's information. They then start to geppo through the forest.

Kadar: Hina, I have a question. How are we supposed to get back to HQ?

Hina (so taken aback by the question she doesn't look where she's going and geppos into a tree): ....Hina has no clue how to do that. 

Kadar: What?

Hina: Hina and you were never told by Vice Admiral Cancer about the return trip.

Kadar: Why are you talking like that?

Hina: Damn it, somehow by Hina crashing into that tree, Hina ruined a year and a half of speech therapy.

Kadar (taking out his Den Den Mushi): My Den Den Mushi has a purple snail attachment for range boosting. I should be able to reach HQ with this one. Hello? HQ? This is Rear Admiral Kadar. Come in. Do you read me?

Operator: Marine HQ, how may I direct your call?

Kadar (thinking I got the public line?): Put me through to Vice Admiral Cancer immediately? Code Orange!


Cancer: Who is this?

Kadar: Who do you think? I don't know how, but we've been found out.

A group of Doflamingo thugs appear.

Random Thug: Hey, I found them!

Hina: Keep talking. Hina's got this.

She charges at the group, using her ability, she subdues them with ease.

Hina: Come on! You want a piece of Hina!?

Cancer: Vice Admiral Maynard was supposed to rendez-vous with you but I can't get ahold of him. He's AWOL!

Kadar: So we're trapped?

Cancer: The only other Marines are on the next island over, and they can't be reached. Maynard's business in Acacia was supposed to be over by now. I'm sorry, but you'll have to commandeer a ship. The nearest port to you is Caledo. About two miles southeast from the mansion.

Kadar: Ugh, understood. Kadar out. Hina. We're on our own. We have to commandeer a ship at the port. 

Hina: Hina hopes there'll be something with a motor. Look ahead. We've got company with guns at 12 o'clock

Kadar: My turn!

Right when the guns fire, Kadar holds out his right hand with his left hand flat and spread open. He catches the bullets with his right palm and then shoots them out of the fingers on his left hand, hitting all of the shooters. They run past.

Hina: So your ability does have its uses. We can't waste time fighting. So we'll have to move defensively

So, whenever they encounter resistance, they just use soru to evade.

Kadar: This must be the town. I can see the port!

Hina: Just our luck, dial bikes. Let's hope they're charged.

They jump on the bikes (known to us as jetskis) and start making their getaway.

Kadar: That was...too easy. Almost like someone was expecting us.

Hina: Hina's bike has a bomb underneath the seat. Hina's willing to bet Kadar's does too.

The bikes explode, launching the rear admirals into the air. They close their eyes and brace for watery impact. So they're surprised when they land on something solid.

???: How did I know that would happen?

Kadar: Admiral? I mean, Kuzan. What are you doing here?

Kuzan: I like to be where the action is. 

Hina: Hina's glad to see you, but Hina wants to know how you found us.

Kuzan: Kuzan thinks that Hina shouldn't ask questions.

Kadar: Well, as you can see, we're going to need another way back to HQ. Care to help us?

Kuzan (pointing to Camel): Take Camel. Camel, meet me when-evs tomorrow.

Camel: Mrrrk.

3 days later, at HQ.

Sakazuki (looking over the report): Very good work, you two. And just so you know, CP8 checked out what you collected, it's all verified.

Kadar: Wow, we thought it was all lies when we found out it was a trap. I guess they weren't expecting anyone to actually get away. 

Sakazuki: This information will help us build a case against Doflamingo and we can finally arraign him for his activities. 

Cancer: I can't apologize enough for compromising your exit strategy. I am going to give Maynard an earful when he gets back. When I finally got ahold of him, he gives me some bullshit story about entering a fighting tournament and getting jumped in the locker room by some guy who looks like a vampire. If he's going to make up excuses, he needs less ridiculous ideas.

Hina: That's a story Hina would like to hear. Anyway, now that that's over, Hina's going to find a speech therapist whose work doesn't wear off after sudden facial impact.