DP: Well, it's finally here. The ultimate showdown between a psychotic killer and a pirate. It should be an interesting fight. How interesting will it get? That's just what we're here to find out. Hello, I'm DancePowderer, and welcome to a very special episode of One Piece Battle Betting Corner. We will be bringing you live coverage throughout this whole fight, but first the pre-game analysis. With me today are the fighters for the side of good: Luffy, Franky, and Robin! Welcome, guys.
Luffy: Good to be here.
Franky: What he said.
Robin, Charmed, I'm sure.
DP: Well, my first question is about the matchups. Since it's three against two, are any of you afraid you won't be able to see as much action as your comrades?
Luffy: Since I'm the only Haki user among us, Master what'shisface is all mine.
DP: Well, that figures. The question was more meant for Robin and Franky.
Robin: I believe it was Ron White who said "In zero gravity those psycho bitches can FLYYYYYY!" (it's from when I saw him live, so don't try looking for it). While it may not be 0-G, you will definitely see some psycho bitch aerial combat happening. I improved upon my flying technique over the last two years. It will be a cat-dogfight (If one of you even thinks of making a Catdog reference in the comments, I will friggin' lose it. This is not at Catdog joke. That being said, you probably will do it now just to see if I meant it. Happy trolling, buttholes.), like topgun only with chicks and obvious lesbian undertones this time.
DP: And speaking of G's, do you expect any help from G-5?
Luffy: Maybe from Smoker and Tashigi, if they can pull themselves together, shishishi.
(if dramatic irony is a character commenting on something that has already happened that they don't know, consider this melodramatic irony, commenting on something that has already happened that they shouldn't know.)
Franky: Well, I can't fly or use Haki, but I make good back-up. I found some anti-chemical warfare seeker missile plans in Vegapunk's lab and built them. I also have surfact to air stuff ready to go. So I'll be the go-between. Such a pain though, right guys?
Luffy: You help in whatever way you can.
Robin: I have to agree, flying will be difficult for me if it's for too long periods of time so the fight might be harder than expected.
DP: Well, we have something, or should I say, someone, here to help get you pumped. Enter, Dalton!
Dalton: Fiddle Banff! (several people offscreen fall over, this action serving as both a reminder and moodsetter)
Luffy: Dalton? What are you doing here?
DP: He's here to sing something only a guy like him could. Take it away, your highness.
Dalton: Ahem. Everybody get up, it's time to banff now, we got a real banff going on, welcome to the space banff, ace banff. Get your chanff, do your danff at the space banff! Alright, alright, alright. Wave your hands in the air if you feel fine!
At this point the audience and Straw Hats are dancing like the people from Jango's Dance Carnival.
Dalton: We got a real banff going on welcome to the space banff, ace banff. get your chanff. do your danff at the space banff, alright alright alright....
He powerslides toward the audience, who erupt in applause.
Franky: That did it for me, let's go beat up a clown!
Luffy: Let's do this!
Robin: Aren't we forgetting something?
DP: Oh, you're right. Please, before you leave, place your bets for us.
DP: And those of you watching at home, leave a comment with your bets. Well, that's all the time we have for today, until next time, DP out.