DP: Well, yet another battle has concluded. Fishman Island is saved, and the Straw Hats are heroes...again (cough, Alabasta, cough cough). But we need to take a look back on this, so let's do just that. Hello, I'm DancePowderer and welcome to an extended edition of One Piece Battle Betting Corner. Like always, we'd be nothing without a guest panel. Joining me in the studio roundtable are some of the only characters who stayed conscious and/or alive, Roronoa Zoro, Nami, Neptune, and Shirahoshi. And, according to my producer, we may or may not have more guests later on. So, I'll start with a general question, what did you guys think of the whole ordeal?
Zoro: Underwhelming. I missed a nap for this, you know. Then again, I could have defeated that guy in my sleep, so maybe I should have multitasked.
Nami: Fun. It's good to stretch your legs once in a while.
Neptune: I think I may be the first person in history to have multiple heart attacks and loss of bowel control in an eight hour period.
Shirahoshi: Scary for the most part. I kind of stole the show in the end.
DP: So, opinions all across the board. Now, I want to know...Wait. My producer is telling me we are about to receive a special guest live via Den Den Skype. It's Nico Robin. Welcome, Robin. What brings you here?
Robin: Hello, everyone. I actually called because I have a question for Shirahoshi.
Shirahoshi: Yes, what is it?
Robin: As an archaeologist, I believe all ancient artifacts should be preserved for as long as possible. So, my question is, why couldn't you have stopped Luffy sooner? I mean, Luffy wouldn't have had to lay a finger on Noah if you had just called your Sea King buddies from the start. Your response?
Shirahoshi: Um, well, you see, I did, but....Traffic was a nightmare. The expressway had at least three accidents where fish hit a patch of black water which caused gaper's delays. They got here as fast as they could. I didn't want Noah to be destroyed. Father told me how important it is. I'm sorry, Nico-chan.
Robin: Sure. This is all going to be on your head so it's no skin off my nose. Oh, Neptune, I read the poneglyph in the Sea Forest. Joy Boy sent a note. "Sorry, dude. I can't make it. Could you FedEx Noah to me or just watch it a little longer? Again, really sorry, my wife has this thing for work, and it was last minute so we couldn't get a babysitter, so now I have to watch the kids while she is at this event. It'll be another day or two at most. I'll comp you next time I see you. Thanks, pal. -JB.
Neptune: Joy Boy, you dead mooch. I did not know you could read poneglyphs, Robin. You could have told me. I've been wondering what that thing has said for years.
Robin: Gee, I guess I was so busy SAVING YOUR WHOLE FREAKIN' KINGDOM that it must have slipped my mind. And now you know. By the way, DP, I know you must be feeling crushed now. If you ever want to talk, I wrote my number down and taped it under your desk. Yeah, I can do that with my powers now. It goes back to that, "if I can see it/know where it is" thing from Jaya. I gotta go. Apparently the Minister of the Left has put me and Franky in charge of reconstructing Noah. Robin out.
DP (slips the number into his pocket): Thank you, Nico Robin.
Neptune: DP, I'm sorry about revealing that Joy Boy was the man who gave Noah to us. I know about your research, but I can't say I know anything more about him. He was my college roommate's buddy. We were friends, but we didn't talk too much. I hope you'll be ok.
DP (almost crying): Don't look at me! Go to commercial!
DP: And we're back. Shirahoshi, another question. How did the Sea Kings know who Luffy is?
Nami: Hey, not that I don't enjoy seeing royalty under pressure, but why are Zoro and I even here?
DP: Oh, yes, I'm sorry. I got too enthralled. You guys must be exhausted from all that intense fighting.
Nami: A little. Not as much as other fights though, like Kalifa or Miss Doublefinger. Those were actually tough.
Zoro: Up against one guy but outnumbered 2 2/3:1. Just another day for Roronoa Zoro.
DP: Nami, this was your first time using your new Sorcery Clima-Tact. I have to ask, how did she do?
Nami: It worked great. It had a few kinks here and there, and I'll probably reconfigure the torq to work better with the timing mechanism, but other than that, no complaints. It did everything it was supposed to. No complaints.
DP: And Zoro, I know you were rather disappointed with your fight with Hyouzou. Tell me your thoughts.
Zoro: It was like fighting the polar opposite of me. I'm awesome and only fight when I'm sober. He sucks and can only fight when he's wasted as all hell. It was no contest. My only question is where he got those eight other swords when he tried to poison me before I finished him off. It's not like Oda to take advantage of hammerspace that much. It only worked with that Blamenco guy who worked with Whitebeard.
DP: How do you know about him and his abilities?
Zoro: Den Den Hulu.
DP: And continuing on before we break the fourth wall even more. What are you guys going to do now that this whole mess is over?
Nami: Well, aside from Luffy and Zoro, none of us have had anything to eat. So food, then SHOPPING! Then rest, then MORE SHOPPING!
Zoro: Ugh, women, am I right guys?
DP: You sure are. One last question to all of you. You Straw Hats haven't even been on Fishman Island for a single day, and yet you've already blown in and tore shit up like a hurricane going through a trailer park. Your thoughts?
Zoro: Live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse.
Nami: I guess we've gotten better at getting ourselves out of trouble since this is the fastest we've ever been.
Shirahoshi: You guys work quickly.
Neptune: If you could use the door next time, that would make things so much easier.
DP: And that's about all the time we have here. Join me when the next villain comes around for another exciting episode of One Piece Battle Betting Corner.