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Ok, time to get more fans pissed off by telling them the truth. Today's subject, bounties. Everyone loves a good bounty, for most people that means money but for me it's the double quilted kind. A lot of people, as you can tell from recent blogs and forums, are reeeeeeeaaaaaally into bounties. So much so that they just spout out random numbers with out a second thought. I call this type of person a number spooger, someone who just throws out numbers without a second thought or moment's hesitation. In short, someone who thinks with their dick and the more they use it, the bigger the bounty, and the bigger the boner they get. Let's not think with our dicks right now and instead use our brains. I am here to address complaints and issues by giving you the one answer you weren't hoping to get, the correct one. Let's get started.

The Timeskip

All too often I hear people complaining about this. "The Straw Hats all got stronger during the timeskip, so why didn't any of their bounties go up?" The answer is simple, they didn't do anything that would warrant a bounty increase. Bounties are based on threat level, not strength. Imagine for a moment if Zoro never became a pirate and just stuck to bounty hunting and stayed within the law, but was as strong as he is right now. He would not receive a bounty because he is not a threat to anyone, soldier or civilian. No threat, no bounty, plain and simple. Zoro caught a lot of attention because of the mistake on his wanted poster on Fishman Island. To get a bounty in the first place, you have to be considered a viable threat, and to get it raised, you have to exceed the Marine or World Government's expectations. And to exceed expectations, you have to do something that would warrant it. No activity, no new bounty.

Strong Attacks and General Strength

Everyone enjoys a good fight, myself included. However, some people seem to draw too many conclusions from them. The key misconception is "just by showing a new strong attack, that warrants a bounty increase." Allow me to be the first to tell you that that idea is complete and utter bullshit, on its own. In order for it to not be complete and utter bullshit, certain criteria must be met. You know what they say the first rule of filming is, right? Location, location, location. That is just one of the two things needed to get a bounty, the other factor is just as important if not more so, witnesses. Specifically one or more people involved with the Marines or World Government. They have to see what you can do i order to give you a bounty. Think about what had to happen for Luffy to get his first bounty. Nezumi reported him and then Brandnew did his homework in finding Luffy's track record, discovering that our favorite rubber pirate was the one who took out Buggy, Krieg, and Arlong's operations. The right people need to see the pirate in action if they want a bounty boost. That being said, here is a list of several pivotal and awesome moments that did not and (probably) will not go into Luffy's bounty consideration, including but not limited to:

  • The events on Little Garden and Drum Island.
  • The entirety of the Skypiea Saga, from Mock Town to crashing back down.
  • The events on Thriller Bark (deep breath, we'll get to why).
  • The entirety of the Fishman Island Arc (yes, that includes Luffy using Red Hawk, sorry).

The rest of the events that have taken place until now can be used for your consideration in bounty increases. The reason for that is all the events share something in common, and that is someone in the military or government either witnessed or was told about the events. The government doesn't know what it does not see or what no one tells them. Now, Thriller Bark. How could something involving two Shichibukai, one of whom was defeated, not lead to any bounty increases? I mean, going against one of them jacked Luffy's bounty to 100 million and Zoro's from "who the hell are you?" to 60 million. The answer has to do with the second of the warlords to show up, little Barty Koom-Koom. Kuma "mistakenly" told his superiors that any and all witnesses and perpetrators to Moriah's defeat had been dispatched (such a relative term, easy to make mistakes) or got away, so the powers that be did not see any reason to bump any bounties, and they wanted to cover up the Straw Hats beating another Shichibukai. And then by the time they showed up at Sabaody, they had forgotten about what went down a few days ago (or weeks, if you add filler). Oops! The last thing to get reported to anyone who mattered at the bounty office was the Straw Hat's miraculous return to Sabaody a few days ago. And the smart money says the next thing to get reported will be the events of the Punk Hazard Arc for obvious reasons. In short, Luffy could eat a sparkler, shoot fireworks out of his ass, and blow up a a boat, but it won't raise his bounty if no one sees it. Here is a list of people who witnessed and/or reported the Straw Hats:

  • Spandine (Robin)
  • Nezumi (Luffy)
  • Smoker (Luffy again, Zoro)
  • The World Government (Luffy again, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Robin, Franky.)
  • Some random Marine officer, probably (Brook)
  • The entirety of Team Marineford (Luffy again)

So, what does this all mean? Bounties really have nothing to do with what most of you think has to do with them. So, next time one of you number spoogers decides to write about someone's bounty and what it should be, remember to ask yourself this, who saw it that matters? And, if I can just beat this into your heads one last time, BOUNTIES ARE NOT GIVEN OR RAISED BASED ON STRENGTH!