One of the things I'm really looking forward to is the upcoming Reverie that's slated to happen this year in OP. I had a funny idea to do a red carpet thing with it kind of like what they do at the Oscars. I hope you get it, but more importantly, and more likely, I hope you enjoy it.
Joan: Hello and welcome to the 181st didecadial Reverie conference. I'm Joan Rivers and I'm here live on the red carpet. As you can see, some of the guests are already arriving. Oh, here's one now. It's Iceberg, the mediator for this conference. Iceberg, darling, can we talk? How are you?
Iceberg: Hello, Joan, I was honored when the committee chose me to be the mediator.
Joan: And I see you brought that adorable little bowling pin on your shoulder. Take my advice, honey, and keep that thing on a leash, there'll be more than enough vermin inside. And who do we have here?
Iceberg: This is my new secretary, Alicia.
Joan: Well, you must be great at what you do, because lord knows you didn't get this job based on your looks. I'm kidding sweetheart, you're very pretty. I want to be nice to you, because if you're anything like the last broad to hold this job, I'm afraid of getting my ass kicked. Enjoy yourselves tonight, both of you, but sweetie, promise me you'll stay dry. You're too young to drink.
Iceberg: Thank you, Joan.
Joan: And who do we have here? Oh, it's Dalton, from Drum, Sakura, whatever the hell it is Kingdom. Dalton, honey, how are you?
Dalton: Hello, Joan. I'm doing fine and looking forward to the proceedings.
Joan: And this is your first time at Reverie, correct?
Joan: And are you nervous?
Joan: It's okay, sweetie, speak into the mic and tell mama everything.
Dalton: A little, since I'm still new to being a king in general.
Joan: Don't worry, baby, we all have our first time. Just do what every teenage boy does, get in, get out, pay the twenty dollars and never speak of it again.
Dalton: Heheheh, I'll remember that.
Joan: And who do you have with you? Is this one of those lapahns I've heard about or did Bugs Bunny just one day say fuck it?
Dalton: He's my security advisor. And this is my closest advisor, Kureha.
Joan: Oh, Kureha, baby, you look great for someone over 140. Tell me, who's your plastic surgeon?
Kureha: No one is, I rock the body this hot naturally. You on the other hand...
Joan: Oh, that does it, after this shindig is over, you and I are going to have a bitch off. May the best bitch win.
Kureha: I look forward to it.
Joan: Good, now both of you, get out of here and enjoy yourselves. Who's coming next? Oh, it's the dark horse of this whole conference, from the Black Drum Kingdom, King Wapol. How are you, sweetie? You seem bulbous as always.
Wapol: Well, the World Nobles begged me to come, so I figured I should, and I brought Miss Universe with me.
MU: Can we go inside already? I don't feel famous yet, and Hakowan is getting antsy.
Wapol: Well, we must go. Good bye.
Joan: Well, there you have it, the complete set; the dog's a box, the queen's a tool, and the king looks like an obese repair man. It's not a masquerade ball, you putz! And speaking of putzes, it's the King of Goa. How are you darling?
GK: Just fine, glad to see nothing's on fire. I love events like these, they remind me just how powerful I am.
Joan: I'm sure they do. Anything you're looking forward to?
GK: Just having a good time throwing my power around. The usual.
Joan: Well, great. Enjoy yourself and I hope your ego fits in the building
GK: I hope it does too.
Joan: And speaking of people who can be fat-headed, it's okama king, queen, whatever the fuck he is, ruler of the Kamabakka Kingdom, Emporio Ivankov. Emporio, baby, how're you doing?
Ivankov: Joan, hon, I am doing superbly. Everything is working perfectly right now.
Joan: I told you those blue pills were miracle workers. I haven't seen someone looking as gay as you have since I saw Freddie Mercury live in concert in San Francisco. Good to know that the key to your happiness is massive injections of hormones. I'll come to you if my guy ever gets put away.
Ivankov: I'd love that.
Joan: Well, enjoy yourself, Iva dear, and try not let your head get too big, Gan Fall knows there's enough of that in there already. And who's next? Oh, everyone's favorite minor character from Reverie, Thalassa Lucas. Forgive me, normally I'd be more excited, but like most readers, I don't give a fuck about you and forgot you even existed until just now. Will your agenda involve Dragon?
Joan: Good enough for me, enjoy yourself. And who's next? Oh, we have an entourage coming our way. I'm even more excited that Jeremy Piven isn't in this one. It's the royal family from Ryugu Kingdom. So tell me, what's Ariel like? I hear she has crabs. Or was it just one?
Neptune: Hello, Joan. It's our first Reverie, and I wanted to make it a family occasion.
Joan: Adorable, I didn't know mini-vans could float. Where are those little future disappointments? Oh, Fukaboshi, sweetheart, how are you? You look as discontent as ever.
Fukaboshi: I'm looking forward to this, and have been since we collected enough signatures. I don't expect to play too active of a role in the discussions, I'll leave that to my father.
Joan: Of course you will. You know, I think they set up a special play room for you kiddies if you get bored. It's supposed to have slots, blackjack, craps, monkey bars, and a slide. And who else is here? Manboshi, bubuleh, how are you? Excited to be here?
Manboshi: Akkaman-I mean yes, ecstatic.
Joan: And good for you for keeping your Tourette's under control. And next to him is his brother, Julie Andrews, I mean Ryuboshi. How are you doing this fine afternoon?
Ryuboshi: I am mi-fa-so looking forward to everything here. It should be a great experience. I'm really excited.
Joan: Too bad they didn't book you as the entertainment, otherwise it would look less like Tourette's and more like warming up. But we love you, darling. Have fun in the kiddie area. And speaking of kiddies, Shirahoshi, sweetie, good to see you. Is daddy letting you stay up past your bedtime for this?
Shirahoshi: Umm, yes. I really want to help fulfill my mother's dream.
Joan: Well, aren't you just the most adorable colossus ever. And right behind you are the advisors/chauffeurs, the Minister of the Left, and the Minister of the Right. Good to see you.
MoR: Thank you, Joan, and I'm...
Joan: That's great, nobody cares. And who have we here? Oh, it's the group everybody's been waiting for. The Nefertaris from Alabasta. Wait, where the hell is Cobra? Who's the broad? It's Princess Vivi, maybe she can shed some light onto why she's here and Cobra isn't. Vivi, hon, what gives?
Vivi: Well, my father is sick, so instead of just watching the conference, I'll be participating in his place.
Joan: Out of the desert and into the shark tank, huh, princess? You must be nervous.
Vivi: A little, but my father gave me some notes, so I'm not completely unprepared.
Joan: And who have you brought with you? Oh, it's the infamous Chaka the Jack-o-lantern!
Chaka: It's jackal. I figured if I got new clothes fitted for this, then I may as well come.
Joan: Chaka the Jackass everybody, and next to him we have...Pell! Pell the Falcon ladies and gentlemen. Pell, the world wants to know, why couldn't you have just died when that bomb went off?
Pell: Umm, the blast messed me up, but I was able to glide away.
Joan: You should have turned into Kentucky fried falcon. And speaking of people who should have just accepted their fate, Igaram. Never have I seen a crossdressing Mozart impersonator blow up so absolutely. Was your wife pissed?
Joan: Well, good for you. Since most of the people who matter have arrived, I figured I would just sign off, but my producer is telling me otherwise. We have a representative from the Tehna Gehna Kingdom, Sancrin. Sancrin, the people watching want to know. Who the hell are you?
Sancrin: I am acting diplomat for the king of the Tehna Gehna Kingdom. The king couldn't make it, so he sent me. I'm humbled to be here.
Joan: You smell funny. Were you ever in show business?
Sancrin: I was for a couple years, yes. I co-managed Soul King Brook.
Joan: I thought so, you smelled scummy enough to be a talent agent. Give me your business card and get out of my site. But remember, have fun with it. Now that the midget who can give himself reach-arounds is gone, it seems that the last guest is arriving fashionably late. It's representative Shanba from the Torino Kingdom. I personally prefer Milan. Shanba, are you cold?
Shanba: No. I'm used to the elements.
Joan: If you don't mind me asking, what the hell are you doing here and where's your shirt?
Shanba: Torino was recently admitted, and I was chosen to be the representative.
Joan: Let Chaka's bear, exposed chest show that dress codes have no meaning. I hope you do enjoy yourself, sweetie. Have fun. You look like you'd love the kiddie room.
Shanba: Thanks, I think.
Joan: Well, I want all of you to enjoy yourselves at the conference. Oh, Vivi, try to find Iceberg, Fukaboshi, and Wapol inside, you four can swap beauty tips for blue hair. I haven't seen so much blue hair since i had dinner at the Truesdales' house. Well, that's about everyone who matters, and even some who don't. From the red carpet, I'm Joan Rivers, now let's go inside.