One Piece Encyclopedia


Dumb Questions

I haven't ranted in a while, so I figured since it's the holidays, I could raise some spirits with a god outburst. As the title suggests, this will be about some of the dumb questions I've seen circling around the blogs and chat. These questions have no actual answer, yet people ask them as if a straight answer exists for it, the same way one would answer "Bismarck" if asked the capital of North Dakota. Why people think these questions have straight answers when they clearly don't, I don't know. The mind of a fanboy is so simple and yet so mysterious. My usual answer is in the form of a question. If I'm feeling pleasant I might ask "What kind of question is that?"

More often than not though, I'm not in such a forgiving mood, which is why I'm writing this. Most of the questions pertain to the recent slough of surprise appearances we've had in the last couple chapters. Sabo, Koala, and the Big Mom Pirates. All three should have interesting parts in the upcoming chapters. Yet, another question seems to be popping up more prominently than anything as interesting as their possible roles. Actually, it's two questions. They are, "Are they strong?" and "How strong are they?" I'm not sure which is the dumber question. The former because the answer is so blatantly simple? Or the latter because it wins the award for the vaguest and most open-ended question people ask as if there's one specific answer like it's algebra homework rather than a manga? I shall answer both of them definitively with a question. First, the former: What exactly is strength? And the latter: HOW THE FUCK SHOULD WE KNOW!? I don't understand how people can ask that question and expect some kind of straight, definitive answer. This most prominently extends to the yonko. How strong is Big Mom? How strong is Kaido? How much stronger has Teach gotten? Again, HOW THE FUCK SHOULD WE KNOW!? Maybe even more irritating is this question, "Are Big Mom and Kaido strong?" Really? You're going to ask something as dumb as this? You know credibility is something you want to have, right? But anyway, allow me to indulge you anyway. THEY'RE FUCKING YONKO! Emphasis on YONKO. By title and definition they're supposed to have at least some skills in order to get that title. Any further inquiry will be met with "HOW THE FUCK SHOULD WE KNOW!?"

I don't understand why people think that question can be answered before the fucking fight even starts. News flash, there's no way to gauge power or strength without SEEING IT FIRST. Wanna judge Big Mom or Kaido's power? Great, so do I. The only difference is that I'm going to wait to see an actual fight before saying anything about it. Without seeing it, there's no basis for reference or comparison. Let's look at the two other surprise appearances, Sabo and Koala. How strong is Sabo? No fucking idea. We last saw him fight when he was ten. Here's a better question. How ballsy is Sabo? Ballsy enough to think he can handle himself in a high-powered fight. I can do you even one better with Koala. Wanna know why? Because we've actually seen her coming out of a fight and have a vague idea of her abilities; something we don't have with any of the other people. So here goes. How strong is Koala? She knows fishman karate and can beat up a few randoms on her own without difficulty. I can't say anything more or less about her. It's that simple. 

In closing, to all the people who think they will get a real answer from such a dumb question, I offer this advice. Let the manga answer for you, preferably in the form of a fight or wanton destruction. We might never see Big Mom in a proper fight, but we still might see her raze a mountain just by sneezing just by slapping someone into it, which is still just as good an indicator as any fight. Talking about someone's abilities is fine, but you have to wait until you actually see the abilities happen before you can say anything confidently. It's that simple. Patience is the key to answering all your questions.

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