One Piece Encyclopedia


Crocodile Vs. Kuma

This is another one of my predictions, this time between old allies. Again, I might be a bit heavy on the witticisms.

On an island in the New World:

Crocodile: Well, well, well, fancy meeting you here, Bartholomew. Are you back to your old self?

Kuma: Does the fact that I think you should kill the guy who sold you that suit answer your question?

Crocodile: I see. Well, it is obvious that you're in Vegapunk's good graces since he turned you back and I'm going to assume that goes for the government as well.

Kuma: Indeed.

Crocodile: I can only guess what brings you here.

Kuma: Your bounty has gone up by more than quadruple in the last two years, currently standing at Beli387,000,000. The goverment has acknowledged you as a threat, especially with your past few actions.

Crocodile: Please, what are a few Marine ships in the long run? Brandnew was fully aware of what he was getting into when he accepted that promotion and left his desk job.

Kuma (taking off his gloves): Still, I am assigned to neutralize you.

Crocodile: Then bring it on.

Kuma (teleports behind him): Think fast.

Kuma blasts him with a small Ursus shock, but Crocodile is unaffected.

Crocodile: Don't tell me you forgot about my power?

Kuma: I didn't, I was just curious to see if your powers were a speed reflex or an unconscious one.

Crocodile: What? Speed? This isn't Naruto, and I'm not Gaara, you barrel-chested oaf!

Kuma: And for breaking the fourth wall, I must now kill you, rather than bring you in.

Crocodile: Just try! Desert Spada!

He launches his attack but Kuma dodges by teleporting.

Kuma (reappears behind him): Pressure Kicker!

Using his power to build up pressure in his foot, he releases it, delivering a highspeed round house kick to Crocodile's kidneys. It connects.

Crocodile: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

Crocodile (getting up): I haven't been blasted through a rock like that since Alabasta. I didn't feel water, so it must be Haki.

Kuma: Yeah.

Crocodile: I'll have to take that into account for this fight.

Kuma: Enough playing, Ursus-

Crocodile: Sables!

They launch their attacks at the same time, the sandstorm sending the compressed pressure paw high into the air. This happens several more times, sending more pressure paws into the air.

Kuma: Enough air low-fiving. Palm!

He hits Crocodile in the face with his bare palm, sending him back.

Crocodile (landing in a crouched position): Impressive, Kuma, you've learned how to hit people without sending them to another hemisphere. I suppose I should be thankful for that. So tell me, how did you get back to your normal self?

Kuma: I had qualms about participating in the war. As I was unaware of Ace's lineage, I assumed him to be Dragon's son. Since I was torn between loyalty and duty, I had Vegapunk program me so that my mind was that of a robot. He made it so I could easily be changed back, and did so after the war. Oddly enough, I still have all my memories of the battle.

Crocodile: That's interesting, but to be honest, I don't care. I only wanted to buy time. You see, this island is on bedrock that goes about sixty feet below the surface. I think I converted at least half of it to sand. I've only done this once before, and it was a lot of fun. Inverted Desert Whac-a-Mole!

Kuma: ?

Crocodile (raises a finger): I'd move if I were you.

A giant sand pillar shoots up under Kuma, who dodges just in time.

Kuma: You have been practicing with your powers.

Crocodile: Oh, you got out of the way. Well, it wouldn't be any fun if I got you on the first try.

Crocodile moves his fingers and a sand pillar shoots up in response to each one. Kuma dodges all of them.

Kuma: Your effort is futile.

Crocodile: Who said I was really trying?

Kuma: You are quite confident with your bluff.

Kuma dodges another pillar by teleporting out of the way. As he gets to his new point, a sand pillar comes up and hits him, knocking him back.

Crocodile (walking over to Kuma): Come on, Bartholomew. You know I don't bluff. I wasn't trying to hit you for the first bit. If I was, it would have only taken two pillars.

Kuma (getting up): I see, you have Kenbunshoku Haki.

Crocodile: So, what now, Barty? How do you plan to defeat me?

Kuma: You may have been able to predict my movements, but I can predict your reactions.

Crocodile:What? What's that supposed to mean?

Kuma (points to the sky): Your sentence shall be death, by low five.

Crocodile (looking up): What the hell?

As he is looking up, Kuma takes to opportunity to teleport and attach a sea stone band to Crocodile's wrist.

Kuma: This way, you will feel everything.

Crocodile: What the hell is this?

Kuma: Ursus Shower. Those pressure paws are special homing paws, since you were the last one to touch me, they will go after only you.

Crocodile: Damn you, Kuma!

Kuma: Oh, and since I love coups de gras, I will leave you with this. Iva told me your secret. I have to say that it is freakin' hilarious.

Crocodile: I'll kill all of you!

Kuma: Maybe, but until then, toodles.

Kuma leaves as all of the paws rain down on Crocodile. The island is pummeled. After the dust clears, Crocodile's body is seen visibly twitching, and nothing more.

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