One Piece Encyclopedia


703 Abridged

Finally, some funny stuff happened.

Cover: Nami's about to show boob, but wait...4, 5, 6...Oh God everyone else is dead, aren't they!?

Casino guy: I am not long for this series, but to exploit what little screen time I have, I'm going to reiterate what you already know, but with pictures! And now my boss has it. Ballsy little psycho, ain't he?

Luffy: FRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIT! Franky, want to be the next hell reincarnate?

Rabbi Frankenbaum: No, schmendrik, I like swimming, and I got all the fire i need right here, thank you very much.

Luffy: I can't eat it...Hey! I have prior knowledge about something! Hot damn!

Rabbi Frankenbaum: The blond prick probably knows it has sentimental value to you, so he's pulling something with it. Luffy, as your knewly self-appointed spiritual and legal advisor, I just have this to say: KICK. SOME. TUCCHUS! 

Casino guy: Morons. Since I don't know who they really are...bookie! I'll bet 1,000,000 beli on the skinny guy losing! Heheh, easy money.

Yosemite Zoro: Get back here you flamboyant little fruit tart thief! Fuck, where'd he go?

Philip Sanjmore Hoffman: It's just a sword, let it go!

Yosemite Zoro: Dumbass, it's not just a sword, it's part of my character and thanks to that samurai it's now a plot device!

Philip Sanjmore Hoffman: Ooh!

Yosemite Zoro: Fruity sword thief?

Philip Sanjmore Hoffman: Houston, we have boobs. And the boobs have a name!? Oh happy day! She's gonna be a subplot! A hot, sexy, subplot!

Yosemite Zoro: Dude, don't you remember how bitches be homicidally trippin' up in here?

Philip Sanjmore Hoffman: Don't care, subplot boobs! Crap, the cockblock ran off! Wait, why is that a bad thing? Oh well, I'll just tell everyone I lost him. Time to go trollin' for some tail. There's only couples around here though. If nothing works out, I do have my two fallbacks waiting when I get back.

Violet: Please! Give me some of your screen time!

Philip Sanjimore Hoffman: I can't tell if she's making out with me or if I'm about to puke.

Soldier 1: Where'd she go this time!?

Soldier 2: I don't know, but let's check in lover's alley.

Soldier 1: That's a strip club!

Soldier 2: And I gave up looking for her already, so let's go.

Violet: Thank god, they're gone. You can let go now.

Philip Sanjmore Hoffman: Surprise, honey! Here's what I propose; sex, you, me, here, now.

Violet: That might be a bad idea. My love interests have a history of dying. 

Philip Sanjmore Hoffman: Let me help you, please! You're the closest I've ever gotten to some tail! Well, figuratively speaking at least. There were one or two mermaids who I think were interested...

Violet: With my last boyfriend, our love was like milk. It went unrefridgerated and soured.

Philip Sanjmore Hoffman: Being distracted by boobs, I am strangely yet still explicably ok with this.

Violet: If you're that nice to me, I'll end up falling for you. That can't happen until you safely escort me to the next city and kill this one guy there for me.

Luffy: I'll prove I can read!

Cops: Get the one-legged toy!

Toy: Ollyollyoxenfree! I got to have a name and screen time just to explain how cops and Marines can't get in here. You there! Let me help you with your bags. I'm borderline emotionally unstable by the way.

Announcer: Sign up over here, dumbass!

Luffy: OK!

Passersby: That disguise is so good we feel comfortable talking even more smack about him.

Rabbi Frankenbaum: Remember, kid, this is an arena fight, so give them a show. But remember, they can't find out who you are, so don't make a spectacle of yourself. Is that contradictory enough?

Sign-up lady: We here at the Corrida Colosseum are not resposible for any permanent injuries or death you may sustain during this event. If you understand that, initial here.

Luffy: M. D. L.

Sign-up lady: Your Social Security Number here.

Luffy: 100-05-0050 (there's a method to this number, figure out what it is).

Sign-up lady: Bank account numbers here.

Luffy: 7, 82, and 49.

Sign-up lady: And your name here.

Luffy: Luf...

Rabbi Frankenbaum: Don't give away something as secret as your real name, stupid!

Sign-up lady: Thank you, your entry number is 0556, and good luck Mr. Lucy. I hope you have a ball (get it?)

Luffy: The waiting room looks fun. Like a prison yard, but you don't have to hide your weapons. 

Random contestant: Little man enter fighting competition.

Luffy: Ok, I'm gonna call you almost Porchemy, you'll be older A.O, and you'll be almost leek guy.

Spartan: Who tiny man?

Heat's ugly cousin: He's the last dude to sign up.

Cabaji during his awkward phase: He's too tiny to do anything.

Spartan: He make Spartan angry! Hey, tiny! You no fun kill. People want see show, not stick break. Spartan smash!

Luffy (sounding like a drill sergeant with a slightly southern drawl): Dodge. HOWDY! Where I come from we greet people by shaking hands! You might say that people unaccustomed to it tend to FLIP. Now, anyone else want to introduce themselves?

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