Fandom

One Piece Encyclopedia

Comments3

683 Abridged

I am doing these way too often.

Cover: Good, more people to torture.

Guard: So, where did you possibly see this child who probably might not have maybe turned into a dragon?

Girl: I looked into the room that only the grown-ups can go into. The one with the poles, the stage, and the music. We came on the same boat.

Guard: I see, well don't worry. He's not in there.

Girl: So where is he?

Guard. Somewhere else.

Girl: Is he eating?

Guard: He is doing exactly what you just said. Now, go back to Biscuits Room, eat some candy, and pretend this whole thing never happened.

Luffy: What are you doing, blondie?

Monet: Building an igloo! It's got ten layers.

Luffy: Women are such a colossal waste of time. Anyway, break time. You can't win.

Monet: No duh. Maybe not in a brawl, but perhaps you're into something else? Something with me?

She wraps herself around him.

Luffy: A woman is throwing herself on me. I should be hot, so why is the opposite happening? It's cold and I don't have a boner. I should probably do something before I lose consciousness. You know, you should go out with Smokey. You're a frigid bitch, and he's a heartless bastard. You two would be perfect for each other. Anyway, like grandpa always said, when in doubt, break the floor. Falling!

Monet: Ok, I'll give you points for creativity. But falling through here is a bad idea. Did I forget to mention you'll have to fall through the veil of wasps?

Luffy: Aaaaaah!

Monet: Past the connecting shaft leading to the main boiler...

Luffy: It BUUUUURRRNS!

Monet: Through the garotte wire mesh...

Luffy: Oh, god, there's blood EVERYWHERE!

Monet: And then finally into the basement where we keep the trash.

Luffy: OW! Hey, stuff!

Monet: Enjoy the climb back up, bitch! Now I'm bored.

Meanwhile

Chopper: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Kid: Ow!

Chopper: Oh, I'm sorry. Did that hurt? WELL TOO BAD! Man up you little meth-heads! What's this, pipes to the kneecaps? Get the jv shit out of here.

Kid: I'll set the summer sun on fire. I want candy!

Chopper: Wait, I just got my ass handed to me by a bunch of oversized 5-10 year olds. Oh, the humanity....

Other kid: Ok, shit stomp on Rudolph! After we get our candy.

Nami: Chopper, what happened?

Chopper: Nami, your boobs are in the way. That's better. The rugrats are in withdrawal, and I tried to stop them. You'll want to take a left here. Anyway, don't let them get the candy.

Robin: I'm on it. Big Hands!

Chopper: There's a girl who's resistant to the effect of the drug. She Is Legend, but her real name is Mocha. Help her! A pack of giant meth addicts are about to bumrush a defenseless girl.

Mocha: Down, set, candy shop, smash and grab, daycare. Hut, hut, hike!

Children: Blitz!

Chopper: It's useless to try and throw into total cover. Run!

Mocha: Oh, no! they got a linebacker to block any opening I had.

Monet: What did you call me? Just for that, you have to share with everyone.

Zoro: Hey, a flying lady.

Usopp: Told you.

Law: Welcome to my domain. Shambles Yoink!

Gets his heart back.

Law: Finally. My own heart. Wait a-

Vergo kicks him into the railing.

Vergo: And the crowd goes wild! Do you believe in miracles? Ooh, a heart.

Law: Aaaah.

Vergo: Law, you seem to be suffering from chest pains. Does your chest hurt?

Law: Yes...

Vergo: I know just the cure, applying a vast amount of pressure quickly to the jaw. So this is what you look like without a hat. Hat hair much?

Law: I told you...that you were in...my domain. Welcome to the thunderdome!

SHOCKAH BRAH!

Vergo: That tickled so much I lost feeling in my extremities. By the way, Joker has a new nickname for you, The Disappointment.

Law: Well, that didn't work as well as I thought...Vergo, my plan was perfect. But there was one thing I forgot. One thing I failed to calculate....

Vergo: You're a dumbass. And there's no accounting for dumbass...ness. Tell me, does this hurt? And that's pimp master V to you. Way to interrupt me, Smoker. I'm busy killing Law right now, but I'll get you next. If you could just wait a moment....

Smoker: I'm sorry, did you say something? I wasn't paying attention to the pirate who was babbling futilely in front of me because as the commanding officer of the G-5 base, I don't have to.

Vergo: That's funny. Hey Smoker, Ninth called. He wants his scar back.

Smoker: Yeah? Well Peeply Lulu called and he wants his running facial gags back!

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki