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I was going to wait and do this tomorrow when the chapter would come out, but I'm bored. I honestly have no general direction in terms of seriousness, so just roll with it. It's a little shorter than normal, 14 pages.
Title: Toxic Environment
Cover: The Royal Guards Surround Me? I'll Kidnap Them Too!
- Page 1
Law: Let's shake things up. The doctor is in, and it's time to operate!
Robin: That's great, but we're still in chains!
Franky: Franky Man Escape!
He lifts his arms up, breaking through the chains.
- Page 2
Robin: And you didn't do this earlier because....
Franky: Because then it didn't matter!
His finger becomes a tiny blowtorch and he cuts everyone free.
Smoker and Tashigi go back to normal.
Luffy: Now that everyone's ready, let's kick some ass! The jerk in the labcoat is mine!
Smoker: Wait, my men are out there and are vulnerable. We have to help them!
Luffy: You're right. Franky, get the door open and let those guys in.
Smoker: Go with him, Tashigi.
Law: So, we're free, but how do we get out of this cage?
- Page 3
Franky: Strong Right!
He punches a huge hole through the cage.
Luffy: Everybody, grab on! Gomu Gomu no Rocket!
He launches himself and everyone through the hole in the cage and back into the lab.
Caesar: Back so soon? You know you're not very good test dummies.
Luffy: Shut your gas-hole, gas-hole!
Smoker: Vergo! I want my heart back!
Vergo: You want it? Here (tosses it to him). Giving me your heart was a nice gesture, but I much prefer chocolates.
Smoker (tossing Law the heart): Law, operate!
Law: First, humor me for a second, does this hurt?
- Page 4
He squeezes the heart.
Smoker: OOOWWWW!!! YES! What the hell was that for!?
Law: To make sure he gave you the right heart. MES!
Law thrusts his hand akin to punching Smoker in the chest, and the heart goes back in.
Law: Now give me mine, Vergo!
Vergo (holds up Law's heart): Why should I? You were a traitor this whole time. I'll keep your heart as a souvenir of the good old days.
Law: Look at my heart, now back to me, now back at my heart, now back to me. You don't have my heart, my heart's on the desk. Now look at your hand, now back to me. You're not looking at me, you're looking at a book no matter where!
Vergo: You done yet? Good. Party time!
He lunges at Law with his bamboo cane drawn and black.
- Page 5
Law: You can't beat me in the head so easily with your stick if I'm not on my knees, can you?
Everyone stops and looks at him.
Law: That came out wrong.
Luffy: You gassy striped bastard, you're going down!
Caesar: Who? Me? What did I do?
Luffy: Gomu Gomu no Pistol!
Smoker: Hey, Clown!
Caesar: What do youuughh.......
The punch connects with the distracted villain's jaw.
Smoker: I wanted to remind you that you're vulnerable when distracted.
Luffy: Thanks, Smokey!
Caesar: Shit! Now I have two problems on my hands.
- Page 6
Smoker: And to all the people watching, enjoy the show. Also, you should know that we've been tracing your signals and we know exactly where you are! Expect visits from my colleagues within the half hour. Yes, that includes even you, Faustus (name dropping has to be the next best thing after fanservice, am I right?)!
Faustus: OH SHIT!
Caesar: Wait! Don't leave yet! I still have to show you more of what Shinokuni can do!
Monet: Sir, all signals have been lost!
Caesar: Smoker, you asshole! How could you have put traces on them?
Smoker: I didn't. I just wanted to get rid of the peanut gallery.
Caesar (running away in gas form): You'll pay for that. I'll get you some day!
Smoker and Luffy: Get back here!
- Page 7
They both run after Caesar, following the obvious gas trail he's leaving. They enter a large, circular room where the trail ends.
Smoker: Where are you, Caesar!?
Luffy: Yeah, come on out and fight, you psychopathic circus freak!
Caesar (hiding behind some boxes suddenly gets a twang in his neck after hearing Luffy insult him.): OH! Shit just got real now, motherfucker!
Gas clones form a circle around Luffy and Smoker.
Caesar: No one calls me a circus and gets away with it!
Luffy dissipates all the clones with a sweeping kick, Smoker turned intangible to avoid the impact.
Luffy: You're not a very good performer for someone from the circus!
Caesar: I....AM.....NOT.....A.....CIRCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSS! NOW PAPA'S ANGRY!
A column of gas forms around Luffy and Smoker, like the eye of a storm.
- Page 8
From out of the gas appear hundreds of heads.
Caesar Heads: Ladies and gentlemen, hoboes and tramps, I come before you, to stand behind you, to tell you a story I know nothing about!
Luffy: This circus is a rip-off! It has only one ring!
Caesar: That's it! Everyone dies!
Luffy: I think he's mad.
Smoker: I don't think so, Clown! You're not the only one who can become a gas!
Smoker goes completely intangible, merging with the column created by Caesar.
Luffy: COOOOOLL! I'm gonna help. Gomu Gomu no-
Smoker's voice: Straw Hat, no! You'll hit me too!
Luffy: Damn it, he's right. Hey, I know!
- Page 9
Luffy:Gomu Gomu no-
Smoker: Straw Hat, what did I just say!?
Luffy: Don't worry, Smokey. This won't hurt you!
Smoker: How do you know that?
Luffy: Because, smoke can't burn! Everybody knows that! Gomu Gomu no...
Caesar: You know what I love about adventure stories? The fight scenes. Some of them just take my breath away! Know what I mean?
Luffy (now throwing his punch): Red Haww(gasp).
- Page 10
Caesar: See? Just like that! Too bad you couldn't hit me....Why is his arm still moving?
Smoker: He's made of rubber, stupid!
Caesar: How could I forget?
Smoker: You know, I like books too. Wanna know what some of my favorites are? In no particular order....
Luffy's fist makes contact with the the gaseous column.
- Page 11
(The whole page is taken up by a towering inferno. Smoker formed next to Luffy)
Smoker: BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES, FAHRENHEIT 451!
- Page 12
Luffy: Dante's Inferno and the Divine Comedy!
Smoker: I didn't know you read.
Luffy: For the sake of these jokes I do. You get it, circus guy? Your ass is on fire and it's funny!!!! Shouldn't we do something to help him?
Smoker: He's still gas, ain't he? I'll arrest him when he resolidifies. Until then, let's enjoy the show.
Back at the at the other stuff.
- Page 13
Monet: Fufufufu. Vergo....
Vergo (parrying Law's sword with his stick): I'm a little busy at the moment. What is it?
Monet: I just received word from Joker, he's nearby and wants to see our progress. I told him he could come.
Vergo: WHAT!? With all that's going on and the state of things outside, why did you say he could drop by?
Monet: Like I'm going to say no to him?
- Page 14
On a boat in the New World....
???: Joker, sir, we should be arriving at Punk Ha- I mean investment site 11C in about an hour. Is there anything I can do for you?
Joker: Yeah, tell me, how did Monet take the news?
???: She seemed taken aback, but ultimately accepted it.
Joker: Well, considering who I am, I'm not surprised. You just don't turn Joker away.
???: Very good, sir, that is why you're the boss.
Move to a full shot of a ship that looks like a speedboat, Donqui's on the deck in a lounge chair with a drink.
Doflamingo: I know, it's Joker's world, and you just have to live with it!