5,625 Pages

After reading this chapter, it would be impossible not to abridge it.

Cover: Hannyabal got fat, Domino found a stick.

Luffy: Oh no! Bazookas!

Usopp: I hate bubblegum!

Boat goes up.

Zebra centaur (ZC): It's a lot easier to hit the water than it is to hit something small on it.

Brownbeard: I never thought of that. And Devil Fruit users can't survive in water. It's like killing two birds with one stone. I'm a genius!

Usopp: Gah! It's so cold! Nevermind that I'm a 90 degree head turn away from motorboating Robin, this shit is cold! And, even if i wanted to, my spine is frozen in place.

Zoro: Look, I'm a ventriloquist.

Luffy as the dummy (not much of a difference really): I don't want to be friends with them anymore, let's beat their asses.

Brownbeard: Boomsticks at the ready.

Zoro: Usopp, hold my dummy. It's cuttin' time.

Usopp: Zoro, now is not the time to soak your neck.

Zoro: Not me, you idiot.

Usopp (looks below the water): Why are there multiple Bruces in the lake!? (If you don't get it, you should be ashamed of yourself).

Brownbeard: Because, you're in a crater made right next to a rift that allows ocean water to flood in, DUH!

Usopp: Well, our trumpcard just became breakfast. I am dead in the water!

Brownbeard: Fire!

Brook: Hey! Only one person gets to make the death jokes around here, buster!

Brownbeard: Why boomstick go wrong way?

Brook: I am the blizzard (I just got that Ozzy Osbourne reference). You are the Tropius to my Cubchoo. I froze your barrels.

Brownbeard: Great, now take off the mask. Oh, and who the hell are you!?

Brook: I came back from the land of the dead, and heck boy ain't it grand? I'm the Soul King of the underworld and I had my own band (if you don't know the melody, then sucks to be you). Also my name is Brook.

Centaurs: You bastard! Just you watch. We're going to download all your songs illegally!

Brook: Too late, I already did! But this is for thinking about doing that in the first place!

Brownbeard: Why are the sharks floating and where did those guys go?

Zoro: Look at the sharks, now back to me, now over to Brook, thanks by the way, now back to me. You underestimated us, I'm freezing my ass off.

Usopp: I told you we should have dressed for the weather but noooo, Nami is little miss weather girl, she said hot.

Robin: I spy with my little eye something that begins with L.

Zoro, Luffy, Robin: Let's mug the centaurs and take their coats.

Centaur 2: What do you think they're talking about? Anyway, eenie, meenie, minie, moe, I call the one with the nose.

Centaur 3: Give me the girl. I'll make a mare out of her.

Straw Hats: Shopping spree!!!

Usopp: Can I come too?

Brownbeard: Shut up, my head's doing that thing again. I'm braining. And shit on a birdhouse! I remember that guy. His bounty is 5x as much as mine. OH SHIT! HIS BOUNTY IS 5x HIGHER THAN MINE!

Meanwhile, where there's less talking.

Smoker: Hey Law, did anyone ever tell you you suck as an artist?

Law: Shut up, I'm busy putting children in danger to attack adults. Abra cadabra.

Straw Hats: We're all in love!

Law: And, like with most relationships, it will end, in SHAMBLES!

Nami: That was odd.

Chopper: Quite the out of body experience.

Franky: This is sure one freaky friday.

Sanji: I just had a change of heart about my attitude toward female human womenses. I like them now. Hi, Nami.

(I would make more puns, but we must move on)

Nami: I have boobs! SCORE!

Franky: Why do i feel taller, have the feeling of rolling, and am suffering what I can only describe as the worst hair day ever?

Chopper: Why am I a furry?

Kids: Just keep running, just keep running.

Marine: I say we retreat.

Smoker (points up): Ok, now get in the ship.

Marine: Hey, half of one ship is attached to a mountain.

Smoker: Trafalgar, I repeat, you suck as an artist. Also, I'm gonna tell on you. So there.

Law: Whatever. Artful Dodger's Sweeping Flash Mug!

Drops the Den Den Mushi.

Law: I'm gonna sell these on the black market. You can't ever leave. I still want to play. Forever and ever.

Smoker: Trafalgar, I hope you don't mind if I smoke your ass! Ope Ope no Mi.

Law: What about it?

Smoker: Congratulations, you're the first supernova that isn't a Straw Hat to have his power named. Eat jutte!

Law: Missed me.

Smoker: Men! Too little too late! Blah blah blah, fitting metaphor.

Law: That's right, you're in my domain now. Welcome to the Thunder Dome, mo fo's. I'm Jack the Ripper and Dr. Kevorkian rolled into a burrito with just a touch of excessive egoism. There ain't no highway to the Dangerzone, I am the Dangerzone! The doctor is in, and he's not happy.

Tashigi: Trafalgar Law! End this now, and I'll go out with you!

Smoker: Tashigi, I forbid you to go on a date with him!

Law: Sounds good, babe. How about dinner? What say we SPLIT the bill?

Marines: Why him and not us!