Sooo chapter 834 is out, let's have a look.
Let's start with the cover. So Hancock just went full teen-girl-mode and put a giant poster of Luffy on her castle-thingy. Meanwhile, that old grandma who for the love of R'hllor I can't remember the name of looks at Hancock like she's having an existential crisis, which I guess is a fair emotion to have in that very instance. The cover also reminded me of that picture of Mao Tse tung on the forbidden palace. Does that mean Luffy is the glorious leader of Amazon Lily now?! Post your tinfoil hat theories in the comments.
Talking about existential crisises, poor Sanji looks at the handcuffs his SM sister put on him. He gets flashbacks about the child abuse he got when he illegally worked as an underage kid in a kitchen floating in the middle of the ocean. WHERE IS AMNESTY WHEN YOU NEED EM?! He then continues to yell SSHHHIIIIIIIITTTTT across the capital. I mean jesus christ on a bike man. There are kids living in that village. So every decent parent is like "TIMMY COVER YOUR EARS!" cuz they don't want their kids to learn rude words that a random nutjob decided to yell all over the capital. Good job Sanji, you just ruined the future generation of Totto Land.
So apparently Jinbe went all pussy and chickened out? Nahhhh I don't believe that. probably all just a cover-up to prevent everyone from knowing what really happened. Would be cool to see Jinbe later on with like his leg removed and instead having a wooden stick. He could kick Sanji with it to give him some lovely memories about when Zeff kicked the living shit out of him.
So everyone's favourite Punjabi skeleton and Puss-in-Boots find out that crashing into a kingdom with their very iconic ship and just basically running havoc in the towns of the enemy's kingdom, including having a cup o' tea with said enemy's DAUGHTER is apparently not very good if you want stealth to be on your side.
Wait a minute, wait a minute. HE MADE A BABY WITH THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!
My reaction of imagining it:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU CAPONE?!?!?! WHY DOES THE BABY HAVE A MOUSTACHE?!?!?! WHO NAMES THEIR KID CHIFFON?!?!?! SO MANY QUESTIONS?!?!?!?! Oh right and Pekoms died. RIP in piece mate. Swimming forever with the polka sharks.
So then we get a nice little conversation between Caesar and Big Mom. Basically Big Mom wants to be everyone's mother so everyone can find their joy in inbreeding. The Lannisters approve, Linlin. Next we find out that Caesar Clown is literally the God of Tits and Wine of the OP universe. He actually went and spent all that money on whores. So what am I imagining here. Basically Monet is like giving candy to those kids and like singing lyllabies, while everyone in the kids' room can hear a faint sound of a party going on in the background with later some very disturbing sounds. I mean that must have been very awkward for Monet. I bet Mocha was like "Miss Monet, why is Master making those women scream?"
So Big Mom cannot fathom how awesome Caesar's facefaults are. Fuck you Big Mom. Funhater. So instead he sends Caesar basically to his death with a very weird guy guarding his heart. I mean Caesar probably never expected the one who would be holding his heart would be this ... extravagant. I mean, look at the guy's shoes!!! They curl more than cold spaghetti. And jesus christ what's wrong with his hair. Why is everything polka in this country?! So this guy can turn people into candy? THEN WHATS THE POINT OF EATING SOMEONE WHILE NOT IN CANDY FORM BIG MOM?! She could have literally commanded the human equivalent of a Lickitung to turn the guy she ate into candy. DOES NO ONE HAVE BRAINS IN THIS COUNTRY?! It's the polka dots, I swear.
Goodness knows what happened on the last page.
Don't come complaining that the poll doesn't make sense e__e