Gooooooood morning viewers! And what a lovely day it is! The sun is shining, the trees are blowing in the wind, AND THE TRIBUTES ARE STOPPING TO SMELL THE BLOODY ROSES! I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS SHITE! I'VE BEEN AWAKE SINCE THE START OF THIS EVENT AND I CAN'T TAKE THE LACK OF BLOODSHED ANYM-
I apologise for that, folks, I'm your new host, and let me say I have no intention of losing my mind at all! Hahahahaah! But yes, it has sadly been a quiet day, with just one kill! But let's be honest, this one kill was a beauty! Akimichii managed to poison Mr Snuffleupagus' drink, and would you look at that slow-motion replay of him foaming at the mouth! A work of art! And the top killer of the event so far goes down!
A couple of chases, nothing really to mention, no real threat, but night is coming and with any luck we'll see some action! If you can't stick around all night, we do have a sponsers-only supercut of all the top moments, from the opening kill right down to the final kill!
I... I... I do apologise, folks, but this is getting somewhat embarrassing! One death overnight, and it wasn't even a kill! Fuckwit, the golden hope of District 5, managed to die of hypothermia! Everywhere across the arena people are shacking up together, possibly not understanding the rules of the game, and not a single bit of bloodshed!
I'm terribly sorry, folks, I've been assured by the organisers that they are putting measures into place to ensure we get more action soon, so you'll have to keep watching for those, because once this kicks off I'm sure you won't want to miss any of the action! Make sure to like and subscribe for all the highlights, all the commentary, and all the Hunger Games!